Why is it so hard to do the things that will help me?
Why is it so hard to do the things that will help me?
Not only do I hear this a lot from my clients - but I have lived this out too in my own personal journey of learning to thrive through trauma, bipolar and borderline personality disorder.
When you are in the pit of depression, stuck in the overwhelm of anxiety or frozen and numbed out from your emotions - it’s hard to do the things that would support you.
I have what I call my 4 Pillars of Thriving. Four activities I have to mindfully do each day to support my mental health and give me the capacity to handle my day. They are:
Renew Your Mind. This is my bible study tim and where I actively rehearse my affirmations.
Move Your Body. Intentional exercise whether walking, weights or anything in between.
Fuel Your Body. Eating in a way that supports mood and honours how I want to feel.
Rest Your Body. This isn’t just night time sleep, but creating a rhythm of rest throughout my day.
The challenge is that these things do not come easily.
And when we are being led by our emotions - they can feel impossible to do.
When you’re lying face down in bed in despair, the last thing you feel like doing - or feel capable of doing - is getting up and exercising. Or making a nutritious meal. Or focus on opening your Bible.
And yet those are the very activities that will help lift us out of the emotional state that is keeping us bound.
I often tell my clients that thriving with trauma and mental illness is not a choice between easy and hard. It’s a choice between hard and hard.
The hard of change that will lead to a better life.
Or the hard of staying stuck in emotional turmoil.
Both are hard. So we can’t rely on “feeling” like doing the right things. We have to get so connected with the reason driving us to get better and then act in discipline. This is not something we have to do alone. God has given us a spirit of self-discipline. We can rest in him and trust him to sustain us.
But why does the hard of staying the same seem to come more easily?
We can find answers to this in understanding how our brain works.
Our brains are constantly working to keep us safe. To avoid hard things. To stay with what is familiar.
That’s not a bad thing. We want our brains to keep us walking on the sidewalk rather than stepping into traffic.
The problem is our brains don’t differentiate the GOOD hard from the DANGER.
So while it’s hard to stay living in apathy, depression, anxiety - for many of us it’s familiar. It’s something we have grown accustomed to. So even though it doesn’t feel good to live that way - our brain tricks us to beeliving it’s safer than the unknown of change.
What does the Bible say?
The Bible calls us to put off our old man. To walk, not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Paul tells us in Galatians 2:20 - “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
We are no longer bound to our depression, anxiety, apathy, shame - all things that hinder us to treat our minds and bodies like the temple of the Holy Spirit.
We have a God that died for us so we could be set free!
But GOd loves to partner with us in our growth and sanctification. He calls us to do our part with the Holy SPirit.
And here’s the beautiful thing - what God requires of us, he provides for us.
He requires us to renew our minds - and he has provided us with brains that are plastic and can be re-wired.
He requires us to take care of the temple of the Holy Spirit - and he has provided His strength in our weakness to be able to move forward in that.
He requires us to live in joy despite our circumstances - and he has provided salvation and a coming hope as the focus point of that joy.
What if I want to do the hard stuff - but I don’t know how?
Foundations to Healing is the perfect resource for you. It will walk with you - at your own pace through the intersections of healing from trauma and mental illness plus give you valuable tools on how you can implement the Pillars of Thriving in your own life.
The course has 22 self-paced video lessons you’ll be hooked on. They're proven to help you deal with hard emotions and lessen your triggers. They'll help you resolve emotions tied back to trauma and mental illness. And they'll help you create habits for a life you’re obsessed with. Every video lesson is designed to help you live with more joy, peace, and ease.