S9.11 | Embracing Rest: Insights from Sleep Consultant Rebekka Wall
Today we have a special episode focusing on one of my four pillars of thriving: rest.
We're joined by Rebekka Wall, an adolescent and adult sleep consultant, who shares her incredible journey from struggling with sleep and facing health challenges to becoming an advocate for proper rest.
Rebekka delves into the importance of sleep for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being, and provides practical tips for creating a restful evening routine. We'll also discuss how the concept of "revenge bedtime" can sabotage our rest and explore ways to incorporate small breaks throughout the day.
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Key Takeaways
The Role of Rest in Thriving:
Carla emphasizes that one of her four pillars of thriving is rest. Proper sleep is essential for enhancing mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Practical Action Steps for Better Sleep:
Light management, setting a calming environment, managing content consumption before bed, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation of the vagus nerve.
The Spiritual Aspect of Rest:
Carla and Rebekka discuss rest as an act of obedience to God and a form of self-stewardship, essential for living a fulfilling and effective life.
Connect with Rebecca:
Rebekka Wall is a certified adolescent and adult sleep consultant with Sleep Wise Consulting and she is passionate about people prioritizing sleep and proper rest. As a wife and a homeschooling mother to three boys, Rebekka knows that the ability to live with more energy, less stress, balanced hormones, reduced mental fatigue, and achievable health goals are met through consistent, quality sleep. She has a special interest in how hormonal shifts throughout a woman's life - from puberty, pregnancy, post-partum, perimenopause and beyond, impacts sleep, and she is a huge advocate for providing realistic and sustainable tools for long-term success.
You can find Rebekka on social channels @sleepwiseinseattle or sleepwiseconsulting.com.
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Resources:
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5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
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TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey, friends, welcome to affirming truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
Carla Arges [00:00:34]:
Hello, friends. Welcome to another episode of affirming truths. I'm excited to introduce you to one of my IG friends, Rebecca Wall. She is an adolescent and adult sleep consultant. And you may wonder, why are we having a sleep consultant on this show? Well, if you've been here for any period of time, you know that I am a big advocate for my four pillars of thriving, and one of those pillars is rest. So we need to talk about it. Rebecca, welcome to the show.
Rebekka Wall [00:01:08]:
Thank you so much. I'm excited to have this conversation today.
Carla Arges [00:01:11]:
Yeah. So an adult sleep consultant, before we get into, like, the nitty gritty, like, what is that? And how. How did you become that?
Rebekka Wall [00:01:21]:
Yeah, yeah. So this actually, you know, intertwines with a little bit of my personal story as well. But essentially, I work for a company who is a full service sleep consultant consulting company. So we work with pediatrics all the way to adults. And so I got connected with the company when my oldest was about nine months old, and they. He was just having some trouble, you know, sleeping. And so where else do we find information than, like, a mom's group page, you know, and got connected with this company, used the same consultant for all three of my boys. They were excellent sleepers.
Rebekka Wall [00:01:56]:
But then after a while, I kind of noticed I was no longer taking care of my own sleep. So I could no longer blame, like, my. My disrupted sleep patterns from my kids because they were excellent sleepers. And so I started noticing I was doing the whole revenge bedtime, you know, staying up really late when I should be sleeping or just not really taking care of myself. And I'm not even talking about anything, like, major. I wasn't up till two in the morning. It was even as much as, like, midnight, but then I'd get up at six in the morning. So even though it wasn't these extreme late night hours, it wasn't giving myself the proper rest that I needed.
Rebekka Wall [00:02:34]:
And so in 2020, actually, before lockdown happened, I went on a kid free vacation with my husband the first time we had left the country, and I woke up with shingles in my ear. In Mexico. And it was a stress, really. Stress caused immune system response from lack of sleep. Too much sugar, you know, all too much caffeine, not taking care of myself, all of the things that I was compounding. But sleep was definitely a factor in that tie in my own personal relationship of feeling like I need to be productive, to be valued. That's something the Lord is always working in my own heart of productivity, equaling value and contributing. And at that time, you know, I was staying at home with my children, and I wasn't working outside the home at the time.
Rebekka Wall [00:03:30]:
And so all of this kind of compounded. Right, of, well, I have to work really hard at home to prove my worth as a wife, as a spouse, as a mom, all of these things. So, anyway, back. Backtrack back to my injury with my shingles, is my face ended up becoming paralyzed for about six months. And in the Lord's graciousness, I have about 85% of my movement back. But Carla and I talked about this. You won't be able to see my face on here, but if you see me talking, you'll notice the left side of my face doesn't have complete movement back. And I feel like it's a little bit of a reminder from the lord of, like, I'm going to remind you that your value is not in your work and also that you really need to rest and take care of yourself.
Rebekka Wall [00:04:15]:
And if I can forget, I get to see that in my. In my eyes, in my smile sometimes. But, um, anyway, so then fast forward. I stayed in contact with the company as the sleep consulting company, and I noticed that they were opening up an adult, a teen and adult side of their business. And that just immediately piqued my interest. I was like, that is what I want to do, because I think there are people out there who are in a similar situation as me that are either really struggling to sleep or can sleep, but don't know the importance or aren't valuing it like they should, and they just need someone to come alongside them and help them through that. So when they opened up that adult side of their business, I was like, I am in on that. And so I've been doing it for about a year and a half, and I absolutely love it.
Rebekka Wall [00:05:07]:
It was definitely the right move. And I actually just had a client even yesterday, say, what you're doing is a ministry. And that really hit home because I want it to come across that way. And, you know, not every person I work with is a person of faith. This one is a Christian. So it was, you know, different kind of conversations. But for her to be able to say that, I was like, yes, I'm glad you see it that way, too.
Carla Arges [00:05:31]:
So I love that, you know, it's your evidence that a lack of sleep can have physical repercussions. And I know in working with my clients, the lack of sleep can have mental and emotional repercussions. And it really, when we don't have sleep, it lessens our capacity to be fully who God created us to be. We don't have the capacity to heal our trauma. We don't have the capacity to be the most effective in the places that he calls us. What are some ways that you've seen through your clients or even in your own research and walk that the negative effects of not honoring rest have had?
Rebekka Wall [00:06:21]:
Yeah, well, it's one of those things that lack of sleep used to, I think, okay, let me backtrack. So the original pillars of health used to always be just like nutrition and exercise, right? If you're focusing on those two things, then you're. Then you're doing a good job. I think sleep is becoming more and more recognized as this third pillar and how important that it is, because, really, there's not a part of our, you just said it, emotional, physical or emotional health that is not impacted through sleep, either through hormone regulation or our emotional capacity to deal with relationships or cortisol levels, our fight or flight response and things. We can overreact way more intensely than we should if we're not well rested, our anxiety, depression, our motivation levels to even get things done, not even just from physical exhaustion, but just mental fatigue and brain fog of feeling motivated. So it really is. There's not. There's not an area in our life that's not impacted by our sleep and our quality of sleep and how we are resting.
Rebekka Wall [00:07:34]:
And I do love that we talk about this pillar being rest, because there's this physical aspect of sleep being rest and restoring us in that way. However, there's also this, like, cultural fight against rest. Right, of sleep, meaning you're lazy or how sleep means you're not productive or you're not valuable. And that's a cultural narrative that is difficult to fight. Right. At least in western culture, that your value is tied to. We celebrate, I guess your value is tied to being busy or you work so hard. And so we have this celebration of, oh, I'm so tired, I stayed up so late, I worked so hard.
Rebekka Wall [00:08:23]:
And I don't love that, you know, for anybody, because tying that into celebrating, not taking care of ourselves. Really?
Carla Arges [00:08:33]:
Yeah. And it's this whole hustle culture phenomenon that you're right, that has taken over the developed world. And hustle culture is so anti what the Bible tells us about. Like, we see God as he works. He doesn't hustle. God is slow and intentional in his moving. God instituted rest himself. You know, he created for six days.
Carla Arges [00:09:03]:
On the 7th day, he rested. And what an example of how we're supposed to live, right? Like, we're made in his image. Rest needs to be a rhythm in our life as well. Now, you mentioned this term that I actually had never heard of before I came across you, and it's revenge bedtime. And so I think I have an idea of what that means because I feel like without knowing it, that's what I did for a lot of time. Like, I was busy working all day, got to get the kids to bed. It's like, I deserve this time and have. Did I utilize that time usually just numbing out with Netflix or scrolling.
Carla Arges [00:09:45]:
It wasn't even productive, but I thought that was rest.
Rebekka Wall [00:09:49]:
Yes. Mm hmm. You hit it on the head. I, first of all, don't know one person who has not in some way been part of revenge bedtime at one point in their life or of another. You know, just this ability to. Yeah, you said it. Numb out and thinking it's rest or staying up later. And it doesn't always have to be that.
Rebekka Wall [00:10:12]:
Right? Like, that was similarly to me. I was watching Netflix or on my phone or organizing something that didn't need to be organized, whatever it looked like. But it really is saying, hey, I had no control over my day, whether I was working or I have my children or travel or whatever it may be. And so now I'm taking back control. Control over this. This time. That can be me time. And although it's.
Rebekka Wall [00:10:44]:
It's good in theory, right, of taking this time for yourself to take care of yourself, oftentimes, it is not actually, during that time, we're not actually doing the things we maybe should be doing. Like, totally different to stay up an hour, you know, later, if you're like, hey, I actually just need to shower. I need to stretch. I need to be in my word, you know, like, that's not revenge bedtime. That would just be, hey, I'm adjusting my bedtime a little bit to stay up late because that's what I need on, like, a self care and also self care meaning, like, your basic needs of taking a shower, you know, or especially in, like, younger years of motherhood or getting in your word, you know, like, that's not really revenge. Bedtime. You said it perfectly. Netflix.
Rebekka Wall [00:11:29]:
Scrolling our phones, doing something that feels distracting. Really distracting.
Carla Arges [00:11:36]:
So how does a woman balance, though, that, that need for me time? Like, if you are running around with kids all day or you're working all day, or you're one of these super moms, I call them, that works all day and wrangles the kids all evening, there is a need for me time. There is a need to decompress. How do you, how do you navigate that need without stepping on the need for the rest and the sleep?
Rebekka Wall [00:12:14]:
Yeah, that's a, that's a really great question. And, you know, I'm still even figuring that out for myself. Right. So I homeschool my three boys. I'm working as my sleep consult, you know, in my sleep consulting job. I'm married. My husband and I are involved in ministries, and we host our, our small group, and, you know, we are certainly busy. And I think really, the lesson that I have learned post Ramsay Hunt and having that experience is really boundaries and being able to be very intentional about marking off what you need.
Rebekka Wall [00:12:51]:
And, and that means asking for help. That means calling on your spouse to be like, I need help here or outside care. Um, or even just saying to your kids, you know, we're going to go outside and I just need to sit on this blanket alone and don't touch, you know, and in a loving way. Right. Like, I need some kind of time to, to restore my, a break, a quick break, you know? And, and I think oftentimes we also get so busy throughout the day that we're like, hey, we need this huge chunk of time in the evening for ourselves. But I really advocate for my clients, regardless if they're men or women, to take smaller breaks throughout the day. When we're able to take these smaller breaks throughout the day, it helps our nervous system, helps our cortisol levels if we're able to take a couple deep breaths throughout the day and even walk outside quickly or, you know, get up from your desk and walk to the bathroom and grab some water. Like those sorts of things, they don't feel like this big undertaking, I guess, of, like, hours out of time, but they can still be small and recharge you enough that you're maybe not, at the end of the day, grasping for this extensive time where you're able to rest because you were able to do small pockets of it throughout the day.
Rebekka Wall [00:14:13]:
So I would say I recommend that, like I said, for any of my clients, but especially for women, when we're carrying a lot more of that mental load as well, being able to take those small breaks throughout the day can really make a big difference. But the other thing I would just say is be very intentional about your time because we all know things will fill it up if we're not intentional about how we're approaching our days.
Carla Arges [00:14:38]:
Yeah, I call that creating rhythms of rest in your day. Right. And, you know, boundaries are so important, I think sometimes we're afraid to say no because the reality is it's easy to say no to something that is apparently bad. But often what we have to say no to is the good stuff so that we have space for the best stuff, and that can be so hard. How have you, like, navigated adding boundaries to your life so that you have those rhythms of rest?
Rebekka Wall [00:15:15]:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, first and foremost, through prayer, you know, asking the Lord, like, what do you have for me in this season? Because you said it exactly right. We're oftentimes saying no to things that actually are good on paper. You know, another ministry to be a part of or another service project to take on, you know, whatever it may be. They're not. They're not bad, but we're not called to do all of them. I also feel like I have learned a lot that I can't be every hand and foot of Christ like the body of Christ.
Rebekka Wall [00:15:52]:
I'm taking opportunities away from others, stepping into that if I feel like I have to do it all. And so that has been something I've learned of. Like, let me take a step back because the Lord might be calling somebody else into this role. For example, I used to be a Bible, I don't know, Bible study fellowship, if people are familiar with that, listeners. BSF, international Bible study. I was a teaching leader there. I was a group leading leader there, and I finally was like, you know what? I have too much. And this is a great thing.
Rebekka Wall [00:16:24]:
But look at all these other things that I have going on, and it allowed somebody else to step into that role. And it's been great. And I've been able to come as a class member and not feel like I have to lead. And it's been a really good thing. So definitely prayer. And then, you know, if you're married or not, finding somebody trustworthy that knows you and is willing to speak wisdom, like, so for me, you know, it's my husband. And then I have friends and very close people who I can say, this is what I have on my plate right now. Can you speak into this what do you think these commitments are life giving for me? Do you think that it's too much? You know, and really, because sometimes we need that outside perspective of somebody that we know and love and trust to help us make those decisions, especially when they are good things and we do enjoy all of them.
Rebekka Wall [00:17:15]:
And we probably would want to say yes all the time if we had a. The ability to. So I would just say, yeah, start with prayer on what your commitments look like, and then really find somebody that you trust and they know you, and they're coming with, like, wisdom for how this can look played out in your life.
Carla Arges [00:17:35]:
Yeah, I love that. And I also find a good check in is, am I doing this to please people or am I doing this to please God? What is the underlying motivation? And that can be quite a revealing question if we're brave enough to ask it.
Rebekka Wall [00:17:51]:
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Carla Arges [00:17:53]:
So one of the things I do with my clients is help them set up a really strong morning routine. But I know the strength of your morning routine is actually built on the strength of your evening routine and how that looks and how you go into rest. So what, the person that's battling getting that rest and, you know, is taking all the supplements, maybe relying on some of outside help. What is something that they could do to create a routine that actually promotes restful, restorative sleep?
Rebekka Wall [00:18:32]:
Yeah, that's a great question. So this is definitely more practical knowledge, of course. But the first thing is the impact of light and how that impacts your sleep is so, so major because we need it to start getting darker to produce melatonin. And melatonin is that hormone that helps promote sleepiness, helps us stay asleep. And so I would say if you can, as soon as the sun goes down, take any overhead lights, turn them off. Let's start using table lights, or let's start using candles. And, you know, I'm not saying, like, walk around with, like, a little table, like, a little candle around your house and keep it pitch black, but I'm just talking about, like, these, these bright overhead lights that can, are super great for creating bright environments during the day, but can be really harmful at night when we're trying to start winding down. So I would say light is a huge one that also includes blue light.
Rebekka Wall [00:19:30]:
So that is screens, tvs, phones. I tend to be less concerned about the blue light rather than the content. I think the content of what you're consuming late at night can be like, there's a huge difference, right, between watching, like, a funny, old familiar comedy show that we've watched a hundred times and is like, comforting. Right. Is very different from watching the news or an action film late at night, you know, so those are very different things. We know they do different things for our nervous system and our adrenaline and all of those things. So I would just say be more intentional about your content that you're consuming. But I would say definitely 30 minutes at the very, very least before bed.
Rebekka Wall [00:20:15]:
But I think it's more. So this transition of, okay, I've been going all day, and again, I just say the word intentional again, because you have to write this in as important as you would any other thing. We get ready for all other aspects of our day. You just said it, a morning routine. We get ready for work. We get ready for a date night or a meeting or whatever, but we don't treat ourselves sleep with that same importance. And we just anticipate that we'd be able to go, go, go all day and then fall asleep. So having that solid wind down routine, and that can also look like stretching, kind of that vagus nerve support.
Rebekka Wall [00:20:54]:
So the vagus nerve is a nerve in our body that helps promote relaxation and regulate our nervous system. And that can be done really easily in a lot of different ways. Singing, laughing, humming, gargling water laying down on the floor with our feet up against the wall. You know, there's lots and lots of techniques on ways that we can help support it, that helps promote relaxation. And it's not like you have to go gargle water for 30 minutes. You know, it's just like a couple minutes to kind of get you going. But journaling, I'm a huge advocate of journaling, gratitude journaling, or just even getting whatever's in your mind from your day out on paper. Our brain processes things as complete when we write them down, even if they're not.
Rebekka Wall [00:21:40]:
It's the same reason that we love writing a to do list. And that to do list might not even be close to being done, but it feels so much better when it's on paper, right? It's the same, the same thing. So if you can get those thoughts from your day out on paper, that's a really great way to start winding down as well. I'm also a huge advocate of stretching, just loosening up our body. It helps release tension, really stress before bed. That can be massive. So, yeah, those are a little bit more practical tools, but definitely, I would say, if I was to say these are the couple things, is using light properly and then just making intentional time to wind down. That doesn't include screens I love that.
Carla Arges [00:22:28]:
You brought up the vagus nerve. This is totally in my wheelhouse. The vagus nerve makes up about 75% of the parasympathetic nervous system, and that's your rest and digest. So for my friends listening, if you are prone to anxiety, if you are hyper aroused, if your thoughts are racing, this is such a key way to start to get yourself prepared for bed. Because I know sometimes we avoid bed. If, you know, I'm just going to lay in bed and ruminate and get anxious, we're avoiding that uncomfortable feeling. And so, yes, tapping into your parasympathetic nervous system and journaling. I love that.
Carla Arges [00:23:13]:
And it's pen to paper journaling. It's not typing on your phone. The brain processes information differently when you're writing it than when you're typing it. And I love, love, love those tips. They're so powerful. How can people find you if they're struggling with their rest? Because, friends, this is an important pillar. You cannot thrive. You cannot live in the abundance of what God has for you without proper rest.
Carla Arges [00:23:45]:
And I will be as bold to say even that proper rest is obedience. It's obedience, and it's a form of stewardship and how we take care of the resource of our body that God has given us to be effective for the kingdom. So for those that are struggling and need a little help, how can they find you? Where can they find you?
Rebekka Wall [00:24:07]:
Yeah. Yeah. So you can find me on Instagram. My handle's sleepwiseinseattle. You can also find me@sleepwiseconsulting.com. that's where you can find like, my bio and booking link and all of that and a couple different ways to work there. We have a one on one personalized program. I also have a virtual course that people can go through.
Rebekka Wall [00:24:29]:
So I also do one off calls if you just wanted to just have some basic questions answered. But really, the personalized one on one is my preferred because we work together and I get to know you, I get to know your lifestyle, I get to help you walk alongside you for five weeks together to help getting you better rest.
Carla Arges [00:24:48]:
And I'll definitely share those links in the bio and guys foundations to healing my course. Rebecca is one of the guest experts on there talking about sleep. So this is how much I value her input and her expertise. So definitely go check her out. Rebecca, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate that.
Rebekka Wall [00:25:13]:
Thank you, Carla. I appreciate it having me on. So thank you.
Carla Arges [00:25:19]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media. But if we're not, come find me on Instagram at Carla Arges or at affirming truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye, friends.