S10.11 | When Healing Doesn’t Come: Wrestling with God and Holding on to Faith
Have you ever prayed for healing and felt like God wasn’t answering? Maybe you’ve been struggling with chronic illness, emotional pain, or deep wounds that just won’t seem to heal. It can be confusing and discouraging when we cry out to God and the relief doesn’t come. In this episode, Carla Arges dives into the hard questions about unanswered prayers and why God sometimes allows suffering.
Drawing from 2 Corinthians 12:9, the story of Paul’s thorn in the flesh, and Jesus' own prayer in Matthew 26, Carla offers biblical encouragement and practical steps to strengthen your faith in seasons of waiting. Learn how to lament, redefine healing, trust God's character, and lean into community when the road feels long.
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Have you ever wondered why God hasn’t answered your prayer for healing? In this episode of Affirming Truths, Carla Arges dives into the tough reality of unanswered prayers and how we can hold onto faith when healing doesn’t come. Drawing from Scripture, she shares five powerful ways to navigate suffering while trusting God’s greater plan.
Key Takeaways
Redefine What Healing Looks Like:
Healing doesn’t always mean the absence of pain—sometimes, God is working on deeper wounds in our spirit. While we pray for physical healing, He may be offering us peace, comfort, and spiritual renewal.
Trust God’s Character in the Waiting:
Even in suffering, God is still good. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) and His grace sustains us (2 Corinthians 12:9). Instead of focusing on what’s missing, shift your perspective to where He is moving.
Lean into Community for Support:
We aren’t meant to suffer alone. Scripture calls us to bear each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). Whether through online groups, church, or prayer partners, seeking community can provide the encouragement we need to stay strong in faith.
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Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
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TRANSCRIPT
Hey, friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
Hey, friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. Let's dive right into it. My mother came over the other day—she kind of uses me as her counselor, which she really shouldn't. It's a form of parentification that started when I was young. You can Google that if you want me to do an episode on parentification. If you identify with that, let me know. Excuse my voice, I'm still battling through pneumonia. But she came over and was talking about how she feels like her prayers go unanswered.
My mom has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, among many other things, and she prays for relief, she prays for healing, and she feels like God does not listen to her. She feels like God has abandoned her, like He doesn't hear her prayers. And I know people with chronic illness who have struggled with that. I've had clients who have had chronic illness, who pray for healing and pray for relief, and it doesn't come. And there's confusion—if God loves me, why doesn't He heal me? As you guys know, I'm wrestling with the concept of healing for my knee, for my injury, and trying to get my head around God’s willingness to heal.
When you pray for a long time, especially for healing—for relief from pain and suffering—you're in pain. You're suffering. You're going to your Heavenly Father for relief, and when that relief doesn't come, it can feel like God has abandoned you. I want you to know you are not alone in feeling that. If you struggle with this, even Paul did. Paul had a thorn in his flesh. We read about that in 2 Corinthians 12, and he prayed, but God, in His sovereignty and wisdom, decided not to relieve Paul of this thorn. So Paul can identify with you in praying for something that goes unanswered.
But we can also look at Paul’s attitude toward that. He adopted a healthy, holy attitude. So how can we do the same?
It’s okay to call out to God to heal our suffering. Jesus, in Matthew 26, prayed for the cup of suffering to pass Him. Jesus prayed to be relieved of the oncoming suffering, that it could be avoided. Even Jesus, in His humanity, called out to God. But ultimately, what was Jesus' attitude? “Not my will, but Your will be done.” Your will be done, oh sovereign Father in heaven, who sees beyond us, who knows more than we know, who is far above our understanding. Your will, not mine.
That’s not to say that God wills our suffering. He doesn’t cause our suffering. God only gives good things. However, God will use our suffering for purpose. And that’s not always comforting, because we don’t always see the purpose in the midst of our pain. But there are different reasons why God allows things to happen the way He does—because He is God.
Why does God allow unanswered prayers to happen? Why does God allow us to sit in our suffering? There’s a big part of that that is a mystery. There’s a big part of that that we may never get an answer for that fully satisfies our human craving for understanding.
But sometimes God allows suffering because He is trying to refine our faith—to really address where our dependency comes from. Are we dependent on a healthy, whole body and mind, or are we dependent on Christ?
Sometimes God allows suffering in one area because He wants to bring a different type of healing. Maybe you're praying for relief from suffering in your body, but God really wants to heal your soul and your spirit. Perhaps that is the deeper root of what’s going on.
Sometimes God allows suffering just because He is a long-suffering God. He desires for all to be saved and none to perish. So He is long-suffering in allowing sin to still exist in this world before He comes in final judgment. Our suffering is a product of sin—not necessarily directly related to our personal sin, although sometimes it is—but related to being in a fallen world and fallen bodies.
So what do you do when you're crying out to God, asking for healing, and it's not coming? When you're feeling abandoned and lost?
Here are five things to consider in your pain and suffering:
Be Honest with God – God welcomes our lament. We see that in Psalm 62 and Psalm 13. There’s an entire book in the Bible—Lamentations—devoted to lament. God welcomes our cries. He can handle our questions.
Redefine Healing – We often think of healing as an absence of pain, but what other type of healing does your life need? Maybe healing doesn’t look like a complete absence of suffering but rather peace and joy in the midst of it.
Trust God’s Character – Lamentations 3 reminds us that His mercies are new each morning. Are you looking for His mercy each day, or are you only focusing on your suffering? What we focus on grows in our life.
Comfort Others – 2 Corinthians 1 tells us that the comfort we receive from God should flow through us to others in need of comfort. Shifting our focus to helping others in their suffering changes our perspective.
Seek Community – Galatians 6:2 tells us to bear one another’s burdens. Are you pressing into community, or has your suffering isolated you? Pray and ask God to bring the right people into your life.
God sees you. He has not abandoned you. He is still at work, even if you don’t see Him working. I know that’s hard. I’m not trying to invalidate your pain, but I want to offer a new perspective. God is refining your faith. He wants to bring healing to your soul, even if it looks different than what you expected.
God still has good gifts for you in the midst of suffering—peace, joy, and comfort. He wants to use you to impact others and be a testimony of His grace and love. His mercies are new each morning. He is not finished with you yet.
Affirming Truth
Even when healing doesn't come as I expected, God is still good, and His grace is sufficient.
Anchoring Scripture
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." – 2 Corinthians 12:9
Keep praying, keep contending, but also see where else God wants to fix your eyes. He is a good God, and He loves you.
Need More Support?
If you need guidance on how to practically work through this, book a free discovery call with me. As a Christian Mental Health Coach and Certified Trauma Practitioner, I integrate scripture, science, and somatics to help women heal and thrive—even in the face of trauma and mental illness.