S10.10 | Healing from Shame: Embracing God’s Truth Over Lies
Have you ever felt trapped by shame, believing the lie that you are unworthy or unlovable?
In this episode of Affirming Truths, Carla dives into the impact of shame on mental health, relationships, and self-worth. Learn how to recognize the false narratives shame creates and how to replace them with God’s truth.
Discover practical steps to break free from the grip of shame, heal emotionally, and step into the abundant life Christ has for you.
Did you know that Carla is a Christian Mental Health coach?
See if working with her is what you need in your current season.
Book a discovery call today!
Shame is a powerful emotion that can keep us stuck in cycles of self-doubt, guilt, and unworthiness. But the good news? You don’t have to stay there. In this episode, we unpack:
🔥 What shame is and how it impacts your mental and emotional health
🔥 The difference between guilt and shame—and why it matters
🔥 How to break free from shame by embracing God’s grace and truth
Key Takeaways
Shame Lies About Your Worth:
Shame tells us we are broken, unworthy, and beyond redemption. But God declares that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, created with purpose and love.
Healing Begins with Rewriting the Narrative:
Shame thrives in secrecy and distortion. Identifying and challenging the lies shame tells us is the first step to healing. We must replace them with the truth of who we are in Christ.
Freedom is Found in God’s Grace:
We don’t have to carry the weight of shame—Jesus already paid the price. By accepting God’s grace, we can step into freedom, healing, and a renewed identity in Him.
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Foundations to Healing—-> https://www.carlaarges.com/foundations-of-healing
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Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
Affirming Truths Facebook Community
5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Hey, friends! Welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey.
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The Oppression of Shame
Hey, friends! Welcome to Affirming Truths. I am so honored that you're joining me today.
I recently had a client session where we talked a lot about shame. Shame is a topic that comes up often in my work with women—women who are overcoming trauma, healing from past hurt, and navigating mental illness.
Shame is oppressive. It keeps us trapped, making us feel unworthy and unlovable. After my client session, I asked my Instagram community about shame, and 80% of the people who responded said they either actively battle shame or repress it because they can’t bear to face it.
But God wants to bring you freedom. Christ went to the cross to bear our shame, and that’s what I want to talk about today.
Shame vs. Guilt
Shame can come in different forms. Sometimes, shame is what the enemy uses to accuse us when we are wrestling with temptation. Other times, shame stems from our past actions, and in those cases, I want to remind you that there is forgiveness.
📖 1 John 1:9 tells us: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
We do not need to bear shame.
However, the shame I want to focus on today is the shame that speaks to our identity—the shame that comes from what others have said or done to us.
Unlike guilt, which makes us feel bad for something we've done, shame makes us feel bad for who we are. But shame is a liar.
Shame is a Liar
Shame tries to define us with "you are" statements:
❌ You are unlovable.
❌ You are not enough.
❌ You are broken.
But shame is from the enemy, and the enemy is the father of lies.
📖 Romans 10:11 says: “Whoever believes in Him will not be put to shame.”
If you are in Christ, shame has no place in your life—because Jesus already took it to the cross.
Shame Lives in Our Past Versions
The shame we carry is often rooted in our past.
For example, I am 45-year-old Carla, but I don’t just exist in my 45th year. I also carry the experiences of:
39-year-old Carla
18-year-old Carla
6-year-old Carla
All of these past versions of myself still exist within me, and shame often lives in one of those past versions.
That shame impacts our present life—our self-esteem, relationships, mental health, and even physical health.
Healing from Shame: A Powerful Exercise
Here’s an exercise I use with my 1:1 clients to help them break free from shame.
Step 1: Identify the Past Version Carrying the Shame
Ask yourself:
🛑 What past event, spoken word, or situation caused my shame?
🛑 Which past version of myself is holding onto this shame?
For example, my 13-year-old self carried shame from a traumatic experience. I was made to feel ashamed—even by a therapist—when I should have received compassion and care.
Step 2: Speak Truth to Your Past Self
Once you identify that past version, ask yourself:
💡 What does she need to hear?
💡 What lies has she believed?
💡 What truth does God want to speak over her?
For me, my 13-year-old self needed to hear:
✅ You are NOT a mistake.
✅ You are loved.
✅ You were created with purpose.
✅ God has a hope and a future for you.
Step 3: Write a Letter to Your Past Self
Write a letter to that past version of yourself, filled with truth, grace, and love.
This is not a quick fix—shame is often layered across different seasons of our lives. You may need to repeat this processwith multiple past versions of yourself.
Your Challenge: Break Free from Shame
Where is shame living in your past?
How can you:
✍️ Write a letter to your past self?
🙏 Speak truth over her?
💖 Release her from the shame she was never meant to carry?
📖 Romans 8:1 reminds us: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Shame was nailed to the cross. You are blameless, washed clean, and a new creation in Christ.
Need More Support?
If you need guidance on how to practically work through this, book a free discovery call with me. As a Christian Mental Health Coach and Certified Trauma Practitioner, I integrate scripture, science, and somatics to help women heal and thrive—even in the face of trauma and mental illness.
Affirming Truth for Today
🔹 I reject shame in the name of Jesus and put on my identity in Christ. 🔹
You are loved, my friend. See you in the next episode!