Breaking Free from Shame: Reclaiming Your Identity in Christ
Shame is one of the most oppressive burdens we can carry. I know this firsthand. As someone who has walked the difficult road of healing from trauma and mental illness, shame was a constant shadow in my life. It whispered lies about my worth, my identity, and my place in this world. But here’s the truth I’ve come to embrace: shame is a liar, and Jesus came to set us free.
Understanding Shame and Its Grip on Our Lives
Shame is different from guilt. Guilt says, "I did something wrong." Shame says, "I am something wrong." It attacks our identity, making us believe we are unworthy, unlovable, or beyond redemption. For many of us, this shame isn't even tied to something we've done, but rather what has been done to us or said about us.
The Lies of Shame vs. The Truth of Christ
Shame often speaks in "you are" statements:
You are not enough.
You are unlovable.
You are a failure.
But God’s Word tells a different story. Romans 10:11 says, "Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame." In Christ, there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1). Yet, the shame from my past followed me into adulthood, shaping how I saw myself and how I related to others.
I had to do the hard work of going back to those past versions of myself—the 13-year-old Carla who felt like she didn’t belong, the 18-year-old Carla who made choices out of trauma, the 39-year-old Carla who still carried wounds from years before. And I had to speak truth into her life.
How to Release Shame and Embrace Healing
One of the most powerful exercises I do with my clients—and that I did for myself—is writing a letter to the past version of me who still carried shame. I wrote to my 13-year-old self and told her what she needed to hear: that she was not a mistake, that she was deeply loved, that God had a purpose for her life. I told her that I forgave her, that I loved her, that God’s love covered her completely.
This process is not easy. It often brings grief as we recognize the wounds we’ve carried for so long. But it’s necessary. Because until we confront the lies of shame with the truth of God’s Word, those past wounds will continue to shape our present.
Your Next Step Toward Freedom
If shame has been holding you back, I encourage you to take a step toward healing today:
Identify a past version of yourself that is carrying shame. Think back to a time when you felt deeply unworthy or rejected. What was said to you? What did you believe about yourself in that moment? Recognizing where shame took root is the first step in breaking free from it.
Write a letter to her, speaking truth over her life. Imagine sitting across from your younger self. What would you say to her with the wisdom you have now? Replace the lies she believed with the truth of God's Word. Remind her that she is loved, valued, and not defined by her past.
Ask God to reveal His love for her and replace shame with His grace. Spend time in prayer, asking God to heal those wounded places. Meditate on scripture that affirms your worth in Christ, like Psalm 139:14, which declares that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Let His truth wash over the parts of you that have been weighed down by shame.
This is the work I do with my clients every day, and if you need guidance, I invite you to book a free discovery call with me. As a certified trauma practitioner and Christian mental health coach, I combine scripture, science, and somatic practices to help women break free from shame and step into the abundant life God has for them.
Affirming Truth
"I reject shame in the name of Jesus and put on my identity in Christ."
Shame is not your identity. You are loved, cherished, and made new in Him. It’s time to release the weight of shame and embrace the truth of who you really are. Let’s take this journey together.
If you’re ready to step into healing, let’s connect. Book a discovery call today and take the next step toward freedom.