S10.05 | Beyond Circumstances: Thriving Amidst Pain and Struggles
In today's episode, Carla delves into the true essence of thriving, especially for those grappling with life's many challenges, from trauma and mental illness to broken relationships. Often, we mistake thriving for the absence of pain and struggle, but Carla explains that thriving is about how we navigate these difficulties rather than avoiding them. She shares personal experiences and insights into building resilience, leaning on faith, and using practical tools to emerge stronger from life's valleys. Additionally, Carla introduces her transformative group coaching program designed to equip you with the skills to thrive amidst the tough times. Join Carla for a heartfelt discussion that redefines thriving and empowers you to move through life with grace and resilience. Tune in and discover how you can thrive in every circumstance.
Did you know that Carla is a Christian Mental Health coach?
See if working with her is what you need in your current season.
Book a discovery call today!
Key Takeaways
Redefining Thriving:
Real thriving occurs in both the highs and lows of life. It's about moving through experiences with resilience and grace, not just waiting for the mountaintop moments.
Navigating Hard Times:
Carla shares practical insights on how our mindset profoundly influences how we handle difficulties. She encourages us to see ourselves as conquerors in Christ, capable of thriving even in the valleys.
Tools and Support:
The episode also highlights the importance of having tools and support mechanisms in place. Carla attributes her ability to thrive to spiritual practices, professional support, and personal accountability.
Upcoming Opportunities:
Group Coaching Program:
Exciting news! Carla's group coaching program is coming this spring. Sign up today and gain immediate access to her signature program, Foundations to Healing, and personalized support through Voxer. This is a unique chance to build resilience and thrive together with a community of like-minded women.
Learn more and enrol in the 6 week Group Coaching Program with Retreat: https://carlaarges.podia.com/spring-2025-group-coaching-with-retreat
Connect With Carla:
Foundations to Healing—-> https://www.carlaarges.com/foundations-of-healing
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> Book a FREE Discovery call
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
Affirming Truths Facebook Community
5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey, friends. Welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ.
Carla Arges [00:00:20]:
My hope is that you will leave.
Carla Arges [00:00:21]:
Each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode.
Carla Arges [00:00:27]:
And it would mean the world to.
Carla Arges [00:00:28]:
Me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here.
Carla Arges [00:00:32]:
Let's get started.
Carla Arges [00:00:36]:
Hello, friends, how are you? It is your friend and your host, Carla Arges.
Carla Arges [00:00:42]:
And I'm here to have a conversation with you that I often have with my clients. And that's about what does thriving really look like? Like, really look like? I know for many of us, and I'm definitely included in this, for many of us who experience living with pain, you know, the pain of trauma, the pain of navigating mental illness, the, you know, pain of broken relationships, whatever that pain is, we often think that thriving is the absence of struggle, that the thriving is the absence of pain. And I want to tell you that that is not a realistic view of what thriving is, because we know that in Christ we are more than conquerors. We know that in Christ we have abundant life. In Christ we thrive. But we also know that in this world we will have trials. We also know we have an enemy who is seeking, who he can kill, destroy, steal from. We know that the human experience of emotions is highs and lows, even for the person who has had no trauma.
Carla Arges [00:02:16]:
Even for the person that doesn't experience battles with mental illness, their experience still involves sadness, pain, grief, hurt. That is the human experience. And so if we chalk up thriving as only when we are on the mountaintop, we are really missing out on the fullness of life God has for us. Even in. In the valley. In the valley, there's blessing. In the valley, there's fruit. In the valley, there's hope.
Carla Arges [00:02:56]:
In the valley, there is thriving. And so I want you to put away the idea that thriving is only when things are easy. Because, man, if we think we're not thriving during the struggle, doesn't that heap even more discouragement on us when we don't think that we are thriving when circumstances are not ideal? Wow, that really puts us in a negative mindset. And when we have that negative mindset, that untrue, might I add, negative mindset, it really colors how we navigate through our experiences. I mean, imagine. Imagine going through a hard time with the belief that you are thriving in the midst of it versus going through a hard time and believing that you are not thriving in life. How do you think you'll navigate that hard time? How do you think the person that sees thriving as something that exists in their life, no matter the mountain or the valley, how do you think they navigate the valley compared to the person who only thinks that they're thriving happens in the mountain? They could have the same hard experience, but they will navigate it differently because of what they believe to be true. And what I want you to believe is true, because it is true, is that thriving has everything to do with how you move through life and not what.
Carla Arges [00:04:40]:
What you move through. I'm going to say that again. Thriving has everything to do with how you move through life and not about what you move through. You guys know I have bipolar and bpd. Okay? And while they're managed, I still have challenges with them, in fact, and I don't know, maybe this will be a podcast episode in the future. I've just had to go through some really difficult relationship things where I've had to remove some people from my life. That's hard, especially if you have borderline. Any type of relational conflict.
Carla Arges [00:05:28]:
Really feels like you've been cut by a thousand razor blades. My BPD was highly triggered last week. My BPD was a struggle for me to navigate last week. But guess what? That struggle did not take away from the fact that I thrive with bpd. Why? Because of how I move through it. I move through it in full confidence of God's provision for me. I move through it utilizing the tools in my toolbox. I move through it with the hope of the future that I know God has for me.
Carla Arges [00:06:17]:
And I'm not here tooting my own horn. There's plenty of times when I didn't move through it that way. There's plenty of times where I felt victimized by my circumstance rather than a warrior riding through them with victory assured. Guys, we have victory assured. We are warriors. We have the full armor of God. We have a commander and chief in heaven who has secured our victory. That means even if we are going through a battle, we are thriving because we know the outcome.
Carla Arges [00:07:04]:
Thriving is not just about your circumstance. It's about how you move through it. Let me ask you this. When your mental illness is triggered, when your trauma is triggered, how are you moving through it? Are you giving yourself grace or are you beating yourself up? Are you projecting your emotions on other people to the detriment of relationship? Or are you getting curious about your feelings and seeing what really lies beneath the surface? Are you going into your toolbox and helping yourself Through a hard time or are you sitting in self pity? And sitting in self pity, my friend, is not the same thing as having grace for yourself. Let's be clear. We can have grace for ourselves and not sit in self pity. There's a difference. How are you moving through this? If you are moving through a hard time, using your resources, leaning on God, being directed by the Holy Spirit, operating with emotional maturity, operating with spiritual maturity, if you are going through a hard time and still producing the good fruit of the Holy Spirit, you are thriving.
Carla Arges [00:08:33]:
You are thriving. And if you are honest with yourself and say, man, Carla, when the hard times come, I fall apart. I'm not thriving. Okay? That's just data. That's data. That's to say, wow, when hard times come, I don't have the resilience I want that will allow me to thrive in it. So how do I build that resilience? This is where you get curious and say, how do I build this resilience? What support do I need? What tools do I need in my toolbox? What professional support do I need alongside me? Right. My thriving happens because of the individual work I do, how I pour into my spiritual life, the fact that I have professional support, the fact that I take ownership over myself.
Carla Arges [00:09:24]:
This is what leads to thriving. This is the transformation I see in my clients too. When they come to me initially. Their view of thriving is never having a hard time. And the skills that they develop through our time together helps them to realize, oh, wait, thriving means I am going through this hard time to a degree of success I've never had before. Thriving is not falling apart, but operating with resilience in the Holy Spirit, not ruining relationships and coming out on the other side stronger and more equipped for the next battle. This is one of the transformations. My clients see that thriving actually means getting through the tough stuff in a good way with success.
Carla Arges [00:10:21]:
Success is not the absence of hard times. Thriving is not the absence of hard times. And so if you are looking for a perfect life, in order for you to sit back and take a deep breath, if you are looking for a perfect life in order to fully trust God or in order to to step out where he's calling, you are going to be waiting your whole life and your life will pass you by. Thriving is not the absence of hard times, but how you move through them. How you move through them. We're actually going to be talking about this in my group coaching program, which I'm so excited is coming up this spring. Here's the thing though, and I don't know if a lot of people realize this. When you enroll in my group coaching program today, you don't have to wait till spring to get support.
Carla Arges [00:11:19]:
This is the fantastic thing about this program. You immediately get access to Foundations to Healing, which is my signature program. And you immediately get access to me over Voxer so that I can be your coach in your pocket, one on one as you work through the course leading up to our group community program that ends in a powerful retreat. And we're going to be working through what does thriving look like? We're going to be equipping you to thrive even in the tough stuff. We're going to be equipping you to overcome when it's hard and to be successful in navigating through that. So if you want to be a part of this guys, get in while you can. This is going to be a small group, just 10 women, because we are building a tight knit community where we can support each other and grow together and learn to thrive together. You can check out all the details from the link in the show notes.
Carla Arges [00:12:28]:
You can book a discovery call with me if you want to talk about it more in depth or if you have any questions. The link to do that is always in the show notes too, and on my website. But here's my affirming truth for you today. I am committed to partnering with the Holy Spirit and doing the work to thrive. Doing the work to thrive. Because it is work. It is work to learn the tools. It is work to take the tools out of the toolbox and use them.
Carla Arges [00:13:02]:
But if you are committed to doing that, you will live a life of thriving regardless of the circumstance you're moving through. I want to bring you to Isaiah 58:11. It says the Lord will guide you always. He will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail, that is thriving that even in the sun scorched land. By the power of the Holy Spirit, by the work of God in your life and your commitment to take responsibility for yourself. That even in the sun scorched land you will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail, that is thriving. My friends, I'll talk to you later.
Carla Arges [00:14:05]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media. But for not come close, find me on Instagram at carlaarges or at Affirming Truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye friends.