S10.07 | Life Update: Reflecting on Life's Difficulties While Fixing Our Eyes on Jesus
Today, Carla opens up about the challenges she's been facing as 2025 begins, sharing personal struggles including battling a persistent lung infection and navigating the complexities of ending a difficult relationship.
Through these trials, Carla discusses her journey of wrestling with God, seeking growth, and fixing her eyes on Jesus. This episode is a candid exploration of faith, resilience, and the power of focusing on God's character amidst life's storms.
Join Carla as she encourages listeners to trust in God's unwavering presence. Remember, we're all on this journey together. Tune in for an inspiring conversation filled with honesty and hope.
Did you know that Carla is a Christian Mental Health coach?
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Key Takeaways
Rethinking ‘Why’:
Instead of asking God "why" when faced with difficulties, Carla suggests asking more productive questions about the lessons and growth opportunities within challenges. How am I being refined?
Keeping Faith Central:
Despite the challenges, Carla underscores the importance of keeping faith and fixing our eyes on Jesus. She draws parallels to Peter walking on water, emphasizing the importance of maintaining focus on God rather than circumstances.
God's Goodness in All Circumstances:
Confirming that God’s goodness isn’t dependent on our circumstances, Carla reassures listeners that God remains a refuge and source of peace, even amidst life’s storms.
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Connect With Carla:
Foundations to Healing—-> https://www.carlaarges.com/foundations-of-healing
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> Book a FREE Discovery call
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
Affirming Truths Facebook Community
5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey, friends. Welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here.
Carla Arges [00:00:32]:
Let's get started.
Carla Arges [00:00:36]:
Hey, friends. Welcome to this episode of Affirming Truth. Today I'm just gonna talk to you like you're my girlfriend at my house, sitting on the couch, talking about life because I have been going through it and I just want to share that struggle with you because maybe you're struggling too. I want to share with you how I've been wrestling with God and I want to share with how I'm moving forward and I'm sharing this with you all on the the cusp of a lung infection that has lasted four weeks. So I'm having some trouble with my respiratory system. So if my voice goes weird or I sound breathy, please give me grace. I am really doing the best that I can with what I got. It has been a tough start to 2025, and maybe you can relate to that.
Carla Arges [00:01:40]:
If you can't, that is so awesome. I am so happy for you to be walking in the evident blessing of God's hand in your life. And notice that I said evident blessing because for those of you who relate to me that 2025 is starting off hard. His blessing is still there and that's what we're gonna. We're gonna dig through. I found myself dealing with some apathy recently because of how hard this year started. You know, I came into 2025 with big plans and hopes and dreams, planning for my business that I did in what I thought was partnership with God. I had plans to call myself to a higher in my work and in taking care of my health.
Carla Arges [00:02:37]:
And these are all good things, right? I mean, we should want to grow 1% in some area year over year. I'm not talking about taking on drastic change, but 1% growth in an area day by day, year by year, is. Is massive. And so I. I try to do that. I try to be continually growing, growing deeper in my faith, growing in how I'm for myself, growing in my emotional maturity. Those things are important to me so that I can be the best wife, mother, friend, daughter, coach, all the things. And I came in with a set of plans and dreams and hopes.
Carla Arges [00:03:25]:
And since January 1st I have been sidelined by something with the last month, including a lot of physical challenges with this bronchitis that has turned into something else. And I'm taking some steroids that are helping. But it's been something. And it can be so easy for us to ask God why, right? Why are you letting this happen? Why are you allowing this? Why are all my plans falling apart? Why can't I just get a break? And in my conversation with God, I've been prompted to ask different questions. I learned a long time ago that why is not the most productive question to ask God. He doesn't own it. Owe us an answer, right? He is God, and why demanding him to be accountable to us is trying to make us God. And so I've learned a long time ago not to ask the question why? So what I've been wrestling with, with God is what is the lesson? Where do you want to refine me further? How do you want me to respond to these challenges? And I gotta tell you, the challenges for me have been huge.
Carla Arges [00:04:44]:
In addition to this physical challenge that's been over four weeks where I've had to be on rest, I haven't had energy to work. I haven't had energy to do my walks. If you follow me on Instagram, you know I'm all about the weighted vest walks. I haven't had the strength to do all these things to show up in my life the way I want to. In addition to that, I had to end a relationship with another woman, which is continuing to have rippling effects in my life that are really challenging and really challenging for my borderline personality disorder. Relationships on their own are hard for borderlines. We fear abandonment. We fear.
Carla Arges [00:05:29]:
Fear rejection. And while that is true for a lot of people with borderline, it's like those feelings on steroids. And even though I had to initiate the end of the relationship because it was not mentally healthy for me, there was toxicity in it. There was not good intentions towards me that I had to protect myself from. Even though I had to initiate it. It brought up all these emotions. And this person was part of a group that I'm part of. And so there's ripple effects that I feel when our mutual friends are doing something with her and then so I'm left out, or they're doing something with me and then she's left out, and they all feel awkward about it.
Carla Arges [00:06:18]:
And I know that as time goes on and this isn't as fresh, the awkwardness will leave and they'll become a new rhythm. But right now, it's hard. It's hard. It is hard to have to end a friendship. It is hard to have to uproot certain routines in your life that revolved around certain friends group. It's been hard. It's been emotional. And, you know, the degree to which I know is hard is that I was crying for days.
Carla Arges [00:06:51]:
And why that is indicative of the pain it was feeling is that one of the medications I take actually doesn't allow me to cry unless it's major. And so it was major. And so I'm asking God and, and I wrestled. This was not a decision I came to quickly about this relationship. I wrestled with God about this relationship for a. How can I be Christlike in ending this relationship, Lord? How do you want me to show up in this. How do you want me to show up with grace? How can I be Jesus hands and feet in this relationship? And then there was just a straw that broke the human human's back. And I couldn't operate from the place of grace while having the person have access to my life.
Carla Arges [00:07:43]:
And so I had to remove that. And that's been hard. The other thing that's been really hard is you guys have heard me talk the last four weeks about this incredible group program and retreat that was designed to be so impactful, and I had to cancel it because of low enrollment at the start of January, a couple of women pulled out because of a change in their finances. And, you know, you need a minimum number of people to show up for this to, to, to run it and not wanting to risk the people that were still in it making travel plans and buying plane tickets because they were all coming from the US and this retreat was in Canada. I canceled it so they didn't incur any other charges. And that really hit me in, you know, the way the enemy likes to tell me that I'm a failure. The enemy likes to tell me that I don't have anything to offer people. There's nothing people want from me.
Carla Arges [00:08:54]:
And so I battle with those thoughts. I've. I've come out of that. So the initial emotional distress from that decision came when the women back to back backed out. I have since come to accept that, you know, there's no failures really in business. There's learning. What did I learn? I learned that not everyone wanted the group program with the retreat. I learned that it's not as easy for some Americans to get to Canada as I thought.
Carla Arges [00:09:30]:
I learned that the shift in the politics has made some Americans maybe more wary of traveling out of the Country. And so those are all things that I didn't account for. And so I have lessons learned, but it has been a struggle. And I share this because I know many of you have a laundry list as well. I'm not sharing this as sympathy or pity. I. I don't need that. I have a good God, and we're going to talk about that.
Carla Arges [00:10:07]:
But I share it because I know that you guys probably have a list that. Of challenges you're walking through. And maybe you're wondering where God is. Where is God in this? And I want to tell you that his word, the truth, tells us he is right with us, using the very things the enemy wants to destroy us with to actually refine us. And it's. It's kind of like that hard workout at the gym that none of us actually want to do, but it's necessary because it's that workout that builds the muscle we need to ultimately thrive and be strong. I'm going through a bit of a workout that I don't like. And so while I may feel weak right now in many areas, not just physically, while I may feel weak in a lot of areas, I'm choosing to be like Paul and boast in my weakness because it's in that place that God's strength is on full display.
Carla Arges [00:11:16]:
God is good not because of my circumstances, but because of who he is. And I want to encourage you today to really fix your eyes on that. We can be easily swayed by our circumstances. We can go into something really trusting God. Like I went into 2025 really trusting God for so much goodness. And while he's still good, I had an expectation of how that goodness was going to come. I had an expectation of the ease and the gentleness that was going to come. Kind of like Peter when he stepped out of the boat.
Carla Arges [00:12:00]:
He did it in confidence. I stepped into 2025 with confidence. The problem with Peter and the problem with a lot of us is that we step out in faith, expecting certain things. And then we get distracted by the waves. We get distracted by the hard circumstances. We get distracted by how things are not turning out the way we hoped. And then, like Peter, we start to sink. We fall into apathy, we fall into despair.
Carla Arges [00:12:31]:
Our depression gets worse, our anxiety gets higher. And I want to encourage you that, like Peter, if that's where you are, if you've gotten your eyes off of Jesus and onto your circumstance and you are drowning, running now in those things, you can be like Peter and say, jesus, rescue me. And what does Jesus do? He reaches down he pulls Peter up, and together, side by side, they walk through the stormy waters back to the boat. Jesus hand is there for you, just like I know it's there for me. Just like I know it's there for me. Why? Because his character tells us that he is good. His character tells us that he is faithful. His character tells us he is trustworthy.
Carla Arges [00:13:21]:
His character tells us that he is loving and full of grace and full of mercy. Right. Our. Our. His character tells us that he is just our character. His character tells us all these wonderful things about him that are true. And that's what we gotta fix our eyes on. I may not understand why.
Carla Arges [00:13:44]:
I may not get how. How all my hopes and dreams and plans for this year and I realize we're only like eight weeks in have completely crumbled apart. That's okay, because the author is not finished yet. Can I get an amen? The author is not finished yet. And the end of the story is that he wins. And because we are his daughters in Christ, we win. That's the end of the story. I am just in the middle chapter where there's going to be some character development, and we can't bypass that as much as we may want to.
Carla Arges [00:14:34]:
And so I just wanted to share with you that I've been wrestling. I've been wrestling with going through this hard time. I've been wrestling with apathy and disappointment and discouragement. But ultimately, I am fixing my eyes on Jesus. And I want you to do the same thing to fix your eyes on Jesus, who is the author and finisher of our faith in him. We can rest and find peace. Not because the storm is necessarily going to go away, but because he is going to be with us in the storm. And where he is, we are safe and protected.
Carla Arges [00:15:16]:
And so I just wanted to break out of my normal episodes and just share this heartfelt message with you today. I'm praying for you guys. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm rooting for you. I know that God has good things in store for you, and I want you to believe that, too. Be blessed, guys. I'll see you next week.
Carla Arges [00:15:46]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on instagram. Instagram @carlaarges or @affirming Truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye, friends.