S9.23 | Are Boundaries Biblical?
Today, we’re diving into a topic many of us grapple with—boundaries. Drawing from personal experiences and biblical insights, Carla explores the importance of setting healthy boundaries, especially with family, friends, and in the workplace. We'll discuss how boundaries are not only essential for maintaining healthy relationships but are also rooted in God's design, exemplified from the very beginning of creation. Grab your Bible, take some notes, and prepare to be encouraged as we uncover the godly foundation for boundaries and how to implement them in our lives. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! Let's get started.
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Key Takeaways
Biblical Foundation of Boundaries:
Boundaries are not only practical but deeply rooted in the Bible. Carla references the creation story and the Ten Commandments as foundational examples of God setting boundaries for healthy relationships.
Purpose of Boundaries:
Boundaries are instituted to maintain and nurture healthy relationships, not to exclude others. Their primary function is to protect relational integrity and personal well-being.
esus Practiced Boundaries:
Carla highlights instances in the Bible where Jesus demonstrated clear boundaries. Whether it was leaving crowds to rest, avoiding harm before his appointed time, or setting limits with his own family, Jesus modeled the importance of boundaries in His earthly ministry.
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Resources:
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5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey, friends. Welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arjez. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here.
Carla Arges [00:00:32]:
Let's get started.
Carla Arges [00:00:35]:
Hey, friends, welcome to this episode of Affirming Truths. Guys, we are going to talk about a subject that I've been working through with one of my one on one clients, and that is boundaries. Now, I have other podcast episodes where I outline how to implement a healthy boundary so you can search for that. And boundaries is one of the things that we cover in the course Foundations to Healing. So you could always get your hands on that as well. But I want to share a little bit about what my client is struggling and then approach the conversation of boundaries from that perspective. She is struggling to put boundaries in with her mom. And maybe you can relate to this, and I certainly can.
Carla Arges [00:01:27]:
As you know, I've shared that I have a history of childhood trauma, that the relationships with my parents has been toxic and unhealthy. And in trying to maintain healthy interaction, I've had to put some boundaries. Right? And if you have grown up with, and maybe you don't identify with the word trauma, but with some childhood baggage, you may be struggling right now to put appropriate boundaries in with members of your family or even in the workplace or with friendships. Right? And where she is struggling is not so much. Even the how do I implement a boundary? She's not really struggling with, what should that boundary be? She's struggling fundamentally in guilt in wondering if boundaries is even biblical. Right? And maybe you're like, yeah, I struggle with that too. When I try to create a boundary, the people tell me that I'm mean, I'm being unreasonable, I'm not being Christlike. Maybe setting a boundary for you feels like you're going against that, that call in the scripture to die to self and, you know, turn the other cheek.
Carla Arges [00:02:55]:
And I can understand that if you don't have a deep rooted understanding of God and if you don't have a deep understanding of context of the word of God, that this may be confusing for you. Because, yeah, God does tell us to turn the other cheek. But does that mean we're not supposed to have boundaries? Does that mean that we are to accept all treatment? That's not the heart of God. And God never contradicts himself. And so we can see his character both in the having boundaries and turning the other cheek. And we're going to get into that. She asked me to give her samples, examples of Jesus having boundaries. But I want to take us further back, all the way back to the beginning.
Carla Arges [00:03:49]:
I want us to go back to when God created the heavens and the earth, when God created the world, when God created man. I want us to go back to the beginning because God is the one who instituted boundaries. You see, Jesus is the fullness of God in human form. So what you see of Jesus already existed in God. And we see God create boundaries at the beginning of time. Not just spatial boundaries where he had water and dry land, not just time boundaries where he created daytime and nighttime. Those are all boundaries. But he created a boundary with Adam and Eve that they could eat of every tree in the garden, but not the tree of the knowledge of life and death.
Carla Arges [00:04:48]:
He created a boundary, and the purpose of the boundary was so that they could stay in right relationship with Him. That's always the purpose of boundaries, folks. Boundaries is not meant to keep people out. Boundaries are meant to allow for healthy relationships. Back in the Garden of Eden, with Adam and Eve, God created the first example of a boundary in order for healthy relationship to flourish. And what happened when they crossed the boundary? What happened when they didn't respect that boundary? The relationship was broken. They had consequences. A relationship that was once healthy was now unhealthy, and there was consequences to that.
Carla Arges [00:05:39]:
And yes, God in His goodness created a way for redemption. And God and his goodness clothed them with proper clothing. But there was a break in the relationship. You know, even if we look at the Ten Commandments, we often think of the Ten Commandments as rules. As. As. Yeah, rules. But really what the Ten Commandments are, are boundaries.
Carla Arges [00:06:10]:
Boundaries in which we can maintain healthy relationship with God. When we adhere to the Ten Commandments, we're able to maintain healthy relationship with God. And we see this with the Israelites. When the Israelites obeyed the commands of God, they had good relationship with God. But when they first, I can't speak, forsook the Commandments. Is that even a word? When the commandments were forsaken, when they ignored the commandments, especially the one about having only one God, relationship was broken, and they became separated from God. And it took them having a heart of repentance in order to restore their relationship after that boundary was broken. So God really is the author of creating relational boundaries.
Carla Arges [00:07:03]:
And if we are made in the image of God, then we are made to have healthy relationship boundaries as well. We are made to have healthy relationship boundaries as well. And you may ask yourself, and then why does it say turn the other cheek? We have to see this in context. God, Jesus was preaching a new way, a kingdom way, where the old way was an eye for an eye. The old way was about retaliation, retribution, vengeance. Jesus was speaking out against a heart of retribution, a vengeance of revenge. God was speaking towards a heart, heart of grace and a heart of mercy and a heart of reconciliation. It wasn't that Jesus was saying be a doormat.
Carla Arges [00:07:55]:
He was contrasting what was a saying of the time. He was contrasting what was the cultural value of the time. See, Jesus, heaven is an upside down kingdom. They were expecting a political leader to come in the form of a messiah to overrule Rome. And what Jesus came actually was as a suffering servant willing to lay down his life to reconcile people back to the father. Where that relationship boundary had been broken, there is now restoration. There, there, there's now the ability to restore with God and be reconciled with him. So that does not mean be a doormat.
Carla Arges [00:08:41]:
We see countless times then in Jesus life. And remember, Jesus is the fullness of God revealed. Jesus is the fullness of God revealed. And so if God created boundaries since the beginning of time, we can expect to see Jesus have boundaries. And he did. He had boundaries against mistreatment. When the people wanted to stone him because he didn't like what he said, he didn't turn the other cheek. He left when people rejected his words and wouldn't receive him.
Carla Arges [00:09:17]:
He left when he had. He had boundaries around his personal needs. Jesus was in human form. He had the need of rest. He had a need of growing in strength with solitude, time with his father. And so even though the crowds would press him, the crowds would want him to heal and hear him speak. He often went away alone to recuperate. That was a boundary.
Carla Arges [00:09:47]:
I need to protect my energy, I need to protect my peace. And so I go alone to rest, recuperate, and be with my father and be recharged. That was a boundary when Jesus was preaching and someone said, your mother and your brothers are here and they look to speak to you. Jesus said, who is my mother? Who is my brother? Everyone you see here is my mother and brother. He had boundaries even with his family because they were being inappropriate in the way that they were interrupting his service, they were acting in entitlement. Entitlement. Jesus had a boundary against entitlement. So Jesus had boundaries because he is the fullness of God revealed.
Carla Arges [00:10:33]:
And God had boundaries from the beginning of time. And so, friend, if you are struggling with our boundaries biblical, they absolutely are. You are made in the image of God and God creates boundaries so that we can have healthy relationship with with him. And that is the goal of boundaries today, so we can have healthy relationship with the people in our life. And so I really want to encourage you, do your own deep dive Bible study. Look in all the ways. I want to challenge you to find the scriptures I'm referring to. I could give them to you, but I actually want you to do the work here.
Carla Arges [00:11:20]:
I want you to go find the scriptures in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John that show Jesus living, leaving the crowds to rest, that show Jesus leaving the crowds when they wanted to harm him before it was his time to go to the cross. Find the scripture where Jesus says, who is my mother, who is my brother when his, his family came and tried to interrupt him. Go into Genesis, see where God created a boundary with Adam and Eve. Look at the ten Commandments, see how they were a boundary set to have good relationship, healthy relationship with God. Boundaries are God given, God designed, and therefore we should adopt them in our life. And again, you want to know the specifics of how to do that? Search my podcast episodes for my previous episodes on Boundaries. Go get Foundations to Healing. It's an incredible self paced course.
Carla Arges [00:12:22]:
There's a whole section there on boundaries, what they're for, how you implement them, how you hold them right when someone comes and breaks it, how you respond to that. It's all there. It's all there. And so I want to encourage you today, especially as we're going into a holiday season where there's going to be more exposure to family members that may be toxic. What boundary do you need to hold so that healthy relationship can reign? My affirming truth for you today is I am made in the image of God and I should therefore have healthy boundaries in my life. And I'm going to take us to Genesis 2:16 and 17 that demonstrates one of the boundaries that God created for healthy relationship with Adam and Eve. And the Lord God commanded the man saying, of every tree of the garden, thou mayest freely eat. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it.
Carla Arges [00:13:25]:
For in the day thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely die. God instituted boundaries for health, for healthy relationship. And so I want to encourage you today if your question is, is boundaries biblical? They're not only biblical, they're godly, they're Godly and so I want to encourage you with that today. Be blessed.
Carla Arges [00:13:59]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram, arlarges or Affirming Truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye, friends.