S6 Bonus 13 | What it Means to Be Brave with Becky Beresford
Writer, speaker, founder of the Brave Women series and collaboration coach Becky Beresford joins Carla to talk things all BRAVERY.
This isn’t just about the big things that happen in life - which is less rare - but in the day to day acts of faith and Trust in God. How can we show courage to walk where God is calling us?
You don’t want to miss this powerful conversation!
Sign up for the Brave Women Series PLUS get the BRAVE WOMAN MANIFESTO:
https://www.beckyberesford.com/sign-up
Connect with Becky here https://www.beckyberesford.com or on Instagram @becky.beresford
True Bravery is Trusting God:
Bravery isn't just about big, bold actions; it's about trusting God in the everyday moments, even when you're feeling fearful.
Acknowledge your fear but choose to trust God's courage over your own.
Surrender is Courageous:
Like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, courage often starts with surrendering your will to God's.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed; the brave step is choosing to follow Christ despite your feelings.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Courage:
Open the Bible
Read God's Word for strength and truth.
Surround Yourself with Uplifting Music
Let worship songs and Christian music reinforce your faith.
Seek Prayer Support
Don't hesitate to ask others for prayer when you're feeling overwhelmed; you don't have to face it alone.
Embrace Your Feelings:
It's okay to feel deeply and have emotions. Jesus understands and wants to lead you through them.
Courage is following Jesus in the midst of your emotions, not being led by them.
Trust God's Courage:
Remember that you are God's child, and you can tap into His courage.
You don't have to generate courage on your own; God is ready to empower you for the journey.
Remember, courage is not the absence of fear but the decision to trust God's courage over your own.
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Join In His Image Wellness Collective ---> carlaargeswellness@gmail.com
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Carla: Hey friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review.
[00:00:30] Carla: I am so glad you're here. Let's get started. Hello, Affirming Truths. Welcome to your Thursday's bonus episode. And I'm so excited because I am speaking to Becky Beresford today. She is an author, a speaker, a coach, and host of the Brave Woman series, which is how I found her to begin with. So hi, Becky, how are you?
[00:00:59] Carla: Hi, [00:01:00]
[00:01:00] Becky: I'm so glad to be here, Carla. Thank you for having me. How are you doing?
[00:01:04] Carla: I, you know, I'm fighting the good fight. I'm fighting the good fight. That's what, that's what you do, right? Each day, one step in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, trusting God to sustain us and equip us for whatever the day brings.
[00:01:20] Carla: So. That's my posture today.
[00:01:23] Becky: That's my, yep. . That's like a posture that I wanna have every day. So, yes. That's really good.
[00:01:30] Carla: Before we dive in, why don't you just introduce yourself to the audience here? To my friends? Yeah.
[00:01:37] Becky: Yeah. Uh, okay. Yeah. So I am a writer and a speaker and a collaboration coach, so that just means I help other creatives kind of collaborate with each other in order to like, Build their platforms, um, have fruitful growth in their life and obviously center around Jesus.
[00:01:57] Becky: So that's what collaboration coach [00:02:00] means to me. Um, and I host the brave woman series. I've been doing that for over four years. I still cannot believe it, but it's been that long. Um, I thought it was going to be a three month long thing, but God's like, no, you're going to keep going until I say stop. And so it is going strong.
[00:02:18] Becky: I love it. Uh, every Wednesday, a different woman shares about her courage, her journey towards courage with Jesus. And Carla, you shared yours and, um, it was so powerful. One of the, I'd say one of the most read, um, stories so far this year. Amazing. So just to let you know, just to encourage you, yeah. And so it's a joy to host.
[00:02:41] Becky: I just love, I feel like I get a bird's eye view. Of what God is doing, um, not just in the contributors lives, but just you get to see how he's moving and he's faithful in just all over the place and all the details and all of our lives, even if we don't see it. So it's just a joy to host it. [00:03:00] And then I am in the process of writing my first book with Moody Publishers, and it is.
[00:03:09] Becky: Based around the term Christ centered empowerment. So what I mean by that is I want to help shift women's view from The idea of being like self empowered or relying on your yourself, depending on what you can do, like looking inside to find the inner power in yourself. And that's all over the place for female empowerment in the world.
[00:03:32] Becky: But the thing is, that message has kind of seeped into the Christian circles. And so what this book is addressing is, okay, let's shift away from being self empowered and instead let's be empowered by Christ. Stop having confidence in yourself and let's have confidence in God and it actually becomes like a message of freedom because we don't have to be perfect.
[00:03:57] Becky: We don't have to have that stress to [00:04:00] be enough, do enough, uh, you know, like believe in myself. We don't have to have that because we can just give that to Jesus and then he takes that burden from us and he does the, he does, he, he does the results. You know, like everything's in his hand. He empowers us to do what we're meant to do.
[00:04:18] Becky: Um, and so I'm really excited about the book. It actually is the release. A year from this week. Oh, wow. Next year, this week, so I'm super excited for it.
[00:04:28] Carla: Yeah, that's amazing. It sounds incredible and really aligned to what I speak about too. It's not about what's in us. What... In us is frankly not good enough.
[00:04:41] Carla: We are limited, we are fallible, we are broken people. It's only through Christ that we can run the race. He's laid and he hasn't called us to be self-sufficient. He's called us to be reliant on him, and we are so much more effective when we are living [00:05:00] in the will of God and that will is dependent like a child on a parent.
[00:05:05] Becky: Yes. I love that. Amen. I love that.
[00:05:08] Carla: So let me ask you this. You've been hosting the Brave series, like you said, for four years now. Yes. And You know, I think Hollywood and the media has given us this idea of what bravery is, right? It's like, it's like, big, bold, you know, jumping through rings of fire and, and all of that, but What have you discovered bravery is in the Christian walk in a woman and a woman just living her life for God?
[00:05:41] Carla: What is brave bravery look like in that context?
[00:05:45] Becky: Right? It's a very good question You know I think the big things like the big events that we have where we have to do those big bold Fights are like a lot more rare than the [00:06:00] everyday Waking up, deciding, okay, am I going to trust Jesus with this moment, even if I'm scared, even, even if I know something is coming up around the bend, um, even if there's a really hard situation in my life right now, and I feel scared.
[00:06:20] Becky: Am I going to still step out and trust that God is going to empower me? God is going to love me through this. He's going to be by my side. He's going to be my helper. And just the decision to trust, I feel like is one, it is the brave, one of the bravest things that we can do. Um, and a lot of times, like, When I ask women to write for the series, what I find is sometimes they're like, why are you even asking me?
[00:06:48] Becky: Like, I don't feel brave. You know, I don't, that's the opposite of what I feel. And funny enough, when the Lord asked me to start this series, I had been struggling with fear. [00:07:00] My entire life, like I was probably one of the most fearful, worst case scenario. And I still struggle with it sometimes too, but the Lord has helped me so much in it.
[00:07:10] Becky: But like, I would imagine the worst case scenario, usually ending in death, honestly, like, you know, especially once I became a mom, like any little thing that would happen to my kids, I would just freak out and be like, Oh my gosh, you gotta take him to the hospital. You know, like I went to the worst case scenario, fear filled mind and the fact that he was like, Now I want you to host a series called the Brave Woman Series.
[00:07:37] Becky: What's cool is that he's shown me that bravery is not about me. It's not about like me trying to find that courage inside of me. It's actually relying on the courage of Christ. It's relying on the courage of God. And so when women are like, you know, I, I don't feel brave. Why are you asking me to [00:08:00] write this?
[00:08:00] Becky: I'm like, well, first off, you are brave. Because you're made in the image of God, um, and if we are made in the Imago Dei, That means God, who is courageous himself, he came up with that. He is the source of courage. That means we have that written on our, like, holy DNA, is what I call it. Like, it's part of us.
[00:08:23] Becky: Even if we don't feel like it, even if we feel scared, um, worried, whatever, you know, that is part of who we are. But that doesn't mean we have to, like, work it up in ourselves, like, muster up the courage in ourselves. We can say, God, I don't feel brave in this situation, but you have. You say I am brave because I'm your child and I am made in your image, but also, can I borrow your, your courage?
[00:08:49] Becky: Yes. Because I look, I look at God and Jesus. I mean, I just think of the garden, you know, like he's weeping and blood is coming out of him. [00:09:00] Talk about that feeling, the intensity of emotions and of humanity right there. I mean, he is. is asking God, can you have this cup pass from me? But he still did it out of love.
[00:09:17] Becky: Like he's still like, but your will be done. I love these people. You love these people. I will go to the cross for them. Um, that's courageous in and of itself. And then the fact I think about the cross as well is like, it's so courageous to love someone. And know that they're going to reject you, know that they may not love me back.
[00:09:43] Becky: That is one of the hardest things to do, I think, like, relationally as a human, to extend a hand of love to someone and know that they could slap it, they could push you away, or they could accept it. But that is such. An act of courage on God's part. So [00:10:00] we can see he's full of courage. And when we feel like we aren't full of courage, we can say, God, can you lend me yours?
[00:10:08] Becky: Can you empower me with your courage? Cause I do not feel brave right now, but I know you are. And I'm your child. And so therefore I am. Um, and, and so that's one thing I think our definition of courage has been really, like you said, skewed by society, by. The media, just like what courage really looks like, but it's the everyday, like stepping out with that attitude of like, I am brave because the Lord has made me brave because I am made in his image.
[00:10:43] Becky: And even if I don't feel brave, I can step out in faith. And ask him for his, ask him for his courage and strength. So, yeah. I
[00:10:52] Carla: love that, that example that you give at, um, Jesus [00:11:00] weeping and not my will, but your will be done. That was actually the point that the courage came, the courage to surrender and isn't that what it is?
[00:11:14] Carla: I love that. It's surrendering. Okay, God, what would you have me do today? I surrender my ideas, my plans, and pick up yours. And there's something beautiful in the surrender. Um, it's scary, but there's, I find freedom attached to it. And that is the example of Jesus. His surrender, his courage brought freedom.
[00:11:46] Carla: And isn't that the way it shows up in our life, too, with freedom? Yes. So, when you were called to be brave, to overcome, Your fear, and you had to [00:12:00] surrender your worst case scenarios, your anxieties. What steps did you take? Like, practically, what did, what did
[00:12:10] Becky: you do? Honestly, it's funny, before I sat down for this, I just realized, I take my Bible everywhere with me, even if I'm not like, reading it.
[00:12:25] Becky: Like if I, it's almost like a blanket to me. And I thought about it. I'm like, it's actually my weapon. Um, and so I'm always taking the word of God with me and I'm a writer. So maybe words just affect me a little bit more, but I think it's, it's, The Bible says it's powerful, living, and active. So it's not just for writers and people that love encouragement and words.
[00:12:48] Becky: This is meant to help our, our souls, our hearts, everybody. Like, not just people who like words. Um, and so for me, practically, when I [00:13:00] start to feel the fear, when I start to feel like, okay, I don't know if I can do this, um, I'm having a hard time surrendering this to you, Lord. I open up the word, and sometimes, I'm not gonna lie, I can feel that battle so much so that It's, it's like I'm stubbornly opening it, um, where I'm like, I don't want to do it.
[00:13:23] Becky: Like, I almost want to, because I was so used to living in that state of fear for so long. Sometimes it feels weird to not live in that state. I don't know if that makes sense. Yeah, it's kind of
[00:13:33] Carla: like the devil you know. Yeah. Versus what you don't know. And there's, while we may not like what we know, we're comfortable with it.
[00:13:43] Carla: Yes. It's scary to get
[00:13:45] Becky: uncomfortable. Yes, to step outside into something new, even though, like, God says we are new creations and we're kind of walking into that newness, um, but still, yeah, it can get uncomfortable, but [00:14:00] the important part is sitting down and just reading the truth. And you obviously, this is your heartbeat, you know, like reading the truth, letting it soak in, even if the feelings are not there yet, um, just letting it wash you over.
[00:14:16] Becky: And um, I'm all about music as well. So a lot of times. Um, especially if I'm feeling scared or something, I try to put music on in my house or just, you know, in my car, wherever I am, um, and just hear those truths again, just like echoing through my mind, through my spirit, um, and prayer. That's a huge thing.
[00:14:41] Becky: Not just like me praying with God, but when I'm feeling attacked by the enemy, um, when I'm feeling really, like, worn down, I, I almost always have like a A list of 10 women or family that I send out prayers to like, Hey, I'm feeling this way. [00:15:00] I'm eating prayer because if I, if I don't feel like I, if I don't feel like praying, it's kind of like.
[00:15:06] Becky: Moses, right? With his hands be having to be lifted up. You need the people around you are going to lift you up when you're just feeling down. Um, and broken and hurting. And so having people who are going to be in your corner that are going to be praying for you. Um, those are three things that have helped me tremendously.
[00:15:29] Becky: Um, especially because the thing with Courage is like fear. It can linger, you know, it's not like it necessarily disappears immediately. And I think even the people in the Bible, these stories where God says, you know, be strong and courageous. I don't think they immediately were like, well, yeah, we are, you know, like, I think it's taking
[00:15:52] Carla: that step forward, even with shaky legs, like the legs and the hands may still be shaking, but you're stepping [00:16:00] forward.
[00:16:00] Becky: You're stepping forward and then the shaking gets a little less.
[00:16:06] Becky: Um, yeah. So just knowing that even if you're feeling fear, which by the way, side note, fear is not sinning. Um, I, I've, I don't believe that fear is sinning, but what we do with that fear makes a huge difference. In our walks with the Lord, um, and he wants to take those fears from us. He doesn't want us to like sit in the fear.
[00:16:30] Becky: He wants us to give the fears to him and then for him to help, help us walk it out. Shaky legs and all as he just loves us, loves on us and shows us who he is. And I think that's why. Reading scripture to it is so good because it just reminds us who is God, right? And you look at all these stories in the Bible where he just shows up huge Yeah, because they're taking those steps because they're saying I feel this way, but I trust you [00:17:00] Yeah But I trust you
[00:17:01] Carla: and friends that could look like if you're struggling right now That could look like getting out of bed and getting into the shower When you feel so overwhelmed that you can't move, getting up and getting into the word and making a meal, that could be your brave step today.
[00:17:20] Carla: And I know that when we're struggling and we just want to disappear, that it is brave and courageous to show up in your life. It is brave and courageous to reach out, um, and ask for those prayers. It is brave and courageous to. Talk back to your fear and say, I see you. I hear you, but I choose to believe my heavenly father's voice over years.
[00:17:51] Carla: It's like what you said. The fear is not the sin. It's where are you going to let the fear propel you. Are you going to let it propel [00:18:00] you into the arms of Christ, or are you going to let it propel you darker, further down the, the darker path of fear where it snowballs? And it's, where do you take it? And that's the same for disappointment and discouragement.
[00:18:15] Carla: Like God can handle our emotions. Our feelings are what he created us to have. Jesus had feelings and the sin.
[00:18:28] Carla: It's what do we do with it and where do we turn to it?
[00:18:32] Becky: Yeah, I love, I'm a deep feeler, very deep feeler, highly sensitive person, like that's me. Um, and so I, I love hearing you say that cause I think so many times people feel bad for feeling and that's just, that's why Jesus came, right? Yeah. Human with us to show us, I understand what you're going through, what you've been through.
[00:18:58] Becky: And I want to help lead you [00:19:00] towards healing, towards love, towards these things. He's not like you shouldn't be feeling those things. Yeah.
[00:19:09] Carla: He's not like that. And that's the courage to feel the things, but not be led by the feelings be led by Jesus because the feelings want to drive. Our behavior, our feelings want to drive our behavior.
[00:19:23] Carla: So the courage and the bravery is following after Jesus in the midst of those big feelings. And that's often how I see courage and bravery, especially in my audience and who I coach as people struggle through their mental health, their struggle through, um, you know, spiritual valleys. It's who's going to lead you, who are you going to follow because you're following something.
[00:19:49] Carla: Yeah. You're following something, so who are you going to
[00:19:52] Becky: follow? I actually write about that in one of the chapters in my, in my book that's going to be coming out. Um, I [00:20:00] actually kind of dismantle different sayings, popular sayings in culture, and one of them is follow your heart. Yeah. Um, and I'm like, no, the heart leads you astray.
[00:20:09] Becky: It changes its mind all the time. It's deceitful. It's deceitful. It is. Yeah. It's. Confused. Yeah. Um, that's not the thing to follow and we don't follow our feelings because those are based off of our circumstances and what's going on in our life at that moment. Um, and so, yeah, but the feelings are meant to point us back to our creator.
[00:20:33] Becky: And so, cause he's the one who gave us it to begin with. So I just, again, I really love that you encourage the feeling, but encourage that the feelings will lead us to Jesus.
[00:20:45] Carla: What would you say before we wrap up to the woman who's listening and doesn't feel brave? How would you encourage her today?
[00:20:59] Carla: I would
[00:20:59] Becky: [00:21:00] say, I see you, I understand, I don't feel that way a lot, um, even speaking on this. speaking in front of people on a podcast, I still get very nervous. I do not feel brave. Um, but again, I have to remember, like, how has God labeled you? He's labeled you as his daughter, as his child. And because you are his child, that means you get to tap into the reserve of his bravery, of his courage.
[00:21:33] Becky: And you don't have to have that pressure on yourself to produce that. Yourself, because God's already there, ready to empower you to step out in the little teeny ways or a big way, whatever he's calling you to do. He's going to be there to empower you to do it, not with your courage, but with his. So you don't have to have that pressure on yourself to make that courage happen.
[00:21:59] Becky: Um, Jesus [00:22:00] has already done it for you.
[00:22:01] Carla: I love that. Where can people find you? Where can they find the brave women series? Give us all the deets and I'll put it in the show notes. All
[00:22:10] Becky: right. So you can go to my website, beckybearsford. com and I have like at the top, the little tabs, there's a brave woman tab.
[00:22:20] Becky: And so you can check out the series there and if you want, you can actually sign up to receive the series every single week and there's like a little sign up button there and you can also get the Brave Woman Manifesto, which I wrote for all you wonderful ladies. Um, it's five things to tell yourself when life gets hard.
[00:22:39] Becky: So, um, I'd love to give that to you for free, and then you'll get updates on my book and all that stuff. So basically. My email list is the best way to stay in contact. I'm also on Instagram and on Facebook. You can just look up Becky Bearsford. Um, Yes,
[00:22:57] Carla: and we will have those links. Thank you so much [00:23:00] for being brave and coming and blessing my friends here on affirming truth.
[00:23:06] Carla: We value the work that you're doing with the brave women series. You are touching so many women and encouraging so many women. And we'll have to have you back when your book is coming out and share a little bit more about that.
[00:23:22] Becky: Yes, I would love it.
[00:23:25] Carla: Thank you.
[00:23:31] Carla: Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but for not come find me on Instagram at Carla arches or at affirming truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye friend.