S6 Bonus 9 | The KEY Ingredient to Healing, Change and Transformation
You can’t have beautiful, meaningful change in your life without acceptance.
Even when it comes to salvation - we have to accept that we are sinners in need of a saviour.
Acceptance is NOT admitting defeat, staying a victim or approving of someone’s behaviour.
But it IS the first step to being able to lay our burdens down to God and move forward towards living out the potential he created us with.
Need support in coming into acceptance?
Carla’s signature 1:1 coaching program - The 4 Pillars of Thriving - is now available! Book a discovery call to find out more.
1. Foundational for Transformation
Radical acceptance is foundational for witnessing positive changes and transformations during challenging seasons.
2. Acceptance Leads to Change
Acceptance is not defeat but a powerful catalyst for change. Acknowledge the reality, and transformation follows.
3. Reality is Unchanged by Acceptance
Acceptance does not alter reality; it transforms our approach to it. Acceptance is a step towards freedom and transformation.
4. Acceptance is Not Weakness
Acceptance is not weakness; it empowers you to draw boundaries, ending victimhood, blaming, and shame.
5. Acceptance in Salvation and Daily Life
Acceptance is inherent in salvation—acknowledging the need for a Savior. Daily acceptance is crucial for thriving in mental health, relationships, and habits.
6. Acceptance Invites God's Intervention
Acceptance opens the door for God to intervene. Surrendering burdens requires acknowledging and accepting them first.
7. Community and Acceptance
Humans are designed for community. Acceptance is the gateway to seeking help and community for transformative change.
Action Steps:
Reflect on areas of life requiring acceptance.
Embrace acceptance as a path to freedom and transformation.
Seek support and community for guidance in your transformative journey.
Radical acceptance is the liberating key to healing, change, and transformation. Embrace acceptance and witness God's transformative power in your life.
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Join In His Image Wellness Collective ---> carlaargeswellness@gmail.com
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
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TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Carla Arges: Hey friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review.
[00:00:30] Carla Arges: I am so glad you're here. Let's get started. Hello, friends. Welcome to this bonus Thursday episode. I am your host, Carla Arges, and I am so glad you're here today because we are going to talk about something that is foundational for you to see the changes and the transformations You want in your life as you are going through the [00:01:00] wilderness, as you are experiencing your valley season, maybe as you are wrestling with your mental health, this is foundational.
[00:01:09] Carla Arges: And we're going to talk about radical acceptance. I see this often with women that I work with, that we have to spend some time on the front end of our work to get to this place of acceptance. And if women can never get to this place of acceptance, they can't change. They can't change their life. You can't thrive in Christ without accepting what is, um, you can't have meaningful, beautiful change in your life without acceptance.
[00:01:42] Carla Arges: You have to accept what is rather than push against it. You have to accept. That maybe your current situation is that you have financial problems. If you have a mental health diagnosis, you have to accept that diagnosis in order to learn how to thrive with [00:02:00] it. If you are having trouble in your marriage, you can't turn a blind eye.
[00:02:04] Carla Arges: You have to accept what is so that you can change. Listen, this goes all the way back to even our salvation. Salvation requires you to accept that you are a sinner in need of a savior. If you never accept your position as a sinner, you can never take the action required to change that, right? Developing healthy habits, it requires you to accept that your current habits are detrimental to your health.
[00:02:39] Carla Arges: Thriving with mental illness requires you to accept the fact that you have a mental illness. Change is bred out of acceptance. Acceptance allows us to take the action necessary to bring about transformation. Guys, you simply cannot skip [00:03:00] this step. Acceptance. I think why people get tripped up on this is that they wrongly view acceptance as admitting defeat, as being weak.
[00:03:13] Carla Arges: Like, if I accept my mental illness, I'm therefore going to be defined by it. If I accept that I am making poor choices in my nutrition, I'm going to have to live with the shame of those choices. If I accept that my marriage is on the rocks, then it's going to cause me pain, right? Some of the unwillingness to accept things is that we don't want to deal with the emotion that comes with it.
[00:03:52] Carla Arges: But here's the thing, reality is reality, whether we accept it or not. Just like God's [00:04:00]truth is God's truth, whether we accept it or not. Acceptance doesn't change the reality, it just changes us and our approach to it, right? It is not defeatism, it is not being weak. Nothing is further from the truth.
[00:04:18] Carla Arges: Acceptance actually allows you to draw the line in the sand and say no more, no more victimhood, no more settling, no more beating myself up, no more blaming, no more sabotage, no more shame. Acceptance will take you to the place where you can start asking the questions. How can I change my mindset? How can I change my habits?
[00:04:46] Carla Arges: How can I change how I speak? How can I change my numbing behaviors? How can I flourish where I am? How can I thrive in my relationships? How can I invite God into this space and allow [00:05:00] him to work in it? It all starts with acceptance, and here's the key to acceptance. You have to really acknowledge the elephant in the room, because that's what it is.
[00:05:18] Carla Arges: That's what it is. Oftentimes, everyone else looking in can see the elephant. We just don't want to acknowledge it. Acceptance is acknowledging the elephant in the room. And in doing that. figuring out how to get the elephant out of the room, right? You can't change what you don't acknowledge, right? And even further than that, you can't just acknowledge it.
[00:05:45] Carla Arges: You have to accept it. Radical acceptance. This is actually a DBT skill, um, a skill that I've learned through years of therapy, um, for borderline personality. It is such a [00:06:00] great skill, radical acceptance. It's what leads to change. What do you need to accept in your life right now? What have you been avoiding?
[00:06:14] Carla Arges: Acceptance is freedom. When we don't accept something, we are actually making ourselves a prisoner to the very thing that we don't want to acknowledge. When I would not accept my mental health diagnosis, it actually made me a prisoner. It made me a prisoner. It made me stuck because I wasn't looking at how I could flourish within the parameters of my life because I kept trying to butt up against the parameters.
[00:06:50] Carla Arges: I suffered. My family suffered along with me. Listen, we are not an island. When we refuse to accept and allow [00:07:00] transformation, it's not just to our detriment, it's to our children's detriment. It's to our relational detriment, to our spouse. You're not an island. You, you're not thriving in your relationships.
[00:07:15] Carla Arges: If you're struggling in all your relationships, let me ask you this. What aren't you accepting? You're struggling in your finances? Ask yourself, what am I not accepting? You're not accepting the budget that you need to live in. You're not accepting that maybe you have to find another vocation. What aren't you accepting?
[00:07:42] Carla Arges: You're struggling with your health. What are you not accepting? A lot of our struggles would be relieved if we would accept where we are so that we could change it. The other thing [00:08:00] about acceptance is what allows God to come in and move. You know, I talk a lot about surrender, surrendering to God.
[00:08:09] Carla Arges: Submitting to God, you know, He wants to take our burdens from us. How can we hand over a burden to Him that we have not accepted or acknowledged? How can we invite God to move in and by the Holy Spirit help us to change if we're not accepting what is? Acceptance is freedom, friends. It is the first step in transformation.
[00:08:39] Carla Arges: Like I said, whether it's for salvation, for thriving in your mental health, for changing the course of your relationships, it starts with acceptance. So I want to challenge you guys today as you head into the weekend. Spend some time in reflection. What do you need to accept? [00:09:00] And then by accepting it, what are the steps you can take to bring about transformation?
[00:09:08] Carla Arges: And if you're struggling in this area, this is why I do one on one coaching, because it can be hard to figure this out on our own. We're not actually meant to do things on our own. Community is in our DNA. We're modeled after God. God is part of a trinity. He's part of a community. He's in relationship. If you are struggling with acceptance, if you are struggling with taking those steps to acceptance and then transformation, book a discovery call with me.
[00:09:39] Carla Arges: Let's chat about it. Let's see how we can get you living in the potential God's created you with. Because if you are not accepting the hard things in your life, if you're not accepting those things, You're not actually living to your full potential [00:10:00] because to live to your full potential means total surrender Means total submission means letting God into every aspect of your life to do that You have to accept every aspect of your life in current state and you have to accept The role and the ownership you played in getting there, right?
[00:10:29] Carla Arges: I hope this is encouraging you to self reflection. There's no shame. There's no guilt in Christ. We have no condemnation. You don't have to beat yourself up about it. Acceptance is not a shame exercise. Acceptance is a freedom exercise because once we accept it, we can turn it over to Christ. Right? There's no shame, there's no guilt, there's no condemnation, there is freedom and surrender on the other [00:11:00] side, friend.
[00:11:01] Carla Arges: So go get that freedom. Talk to you later.
[00:11:10] Carla Arges: Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram at Karla Arges or at Affirming Truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye, friends.