S.3 EP.2 - Have you heard of the Mother Wound?

May 10

How our mothers felt about themselves and the beliefs she carried becomes part of our conditioning. When unprocessed trauma is at play, it can get passed down through the generations. Learn 4 steps to heal from this and stop the cycle with your own children.

Key Takeaways:

Carla opens by asking “What is the Mother Wound?” It is a form of generational trauma - a wound carried by the mother and inherited by her children. Our mothers grew up with trauma of their own - experience either firsthand or also passed down from others. In many cases, it is unrecognized, unhealed and passed onto us.

This has to do with how your mother felt about herself, engaged in relationships and the beliefs she carried are part of her conditioning. It can manifest itself as an inability to set boundaries, lack of self-trust, people-pleasing, chronic self-judgment, fear of abandonment, inability to regulate emotions, insecurity about physical appearance, and more. Carla asks “Do any of these resonate with you?”
Carla talks about how she has lived with a mother wound and how it negatively impacted and conditioned her growing up, even opening up the doors for her struggles with mental illness. She talks about her mother’s own mother wounds and the perpetual cycle and Carla encourages listeners that we are the generation that says “It stops here. We are not passing this on to our children.” and how our empathy for our mothers and children empowers us to so.
Carla asks the question “So how do we overcome?” and encourages listeners that it’s in God’s heart and will to heal your generational trauma. She talks about how 2 things have happened to repair her relationship with her mom:

Her mother recognizing her own mental illness/trauma and doing her best to treat it.
Carla walking through her own process (listed below) to find healing and let go of her identity in her mom and clinging to her identity in God.

4 Steps to Healing:

Give it to God. Take your pain and hurt to God and ask him to help you forgive. Forgiveness helps you see your mother through eyes of empathy - she did the best she could with what she had.
Grieve. Carla talks about letting go of her ideal life-long picture of a mother-daughter relationship, realizing her mother was not capable of it.
Grace. Show grace to you inner child and validate those emotions and come to safety in God.
Guard. If a mother chooses to continue living in trauma and not pursue healing, then set up boundaries in love.

A mother wound is not your fault, however, it is your responsibility what you decide to do with your generational trauma! You can break chains! You can do the work!