S9.5 | Finding Joy Amidst Grief and Loss
In today's episode, we're diving deep into the theme of joy, even in the midst of sorrow. Following the recent loss of my father-in-law, we're exploring the complex emotions that come with grief and how, as Christians, we can find joy alongside our struggles. Drawing inspiration from the book of Philippians, often termed the "book of joy," we'll learn from Paul's experiences in prison and discuss how the narratives we tell ourselves about our pain can shape our ability to feel God's presence and joy.
Discover the affirming truth that joy can coexist with sorrow. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and reach out to me on Instagram to join our free virtual Bible study starting this Wednesday. Let's journey together in reclaiming joy amidst life's challenges.
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Key Takeaways
Understanding Christian Joy:
Carla explains the biblical concept of joy, distinguishing it from worldly happiness. Joy in Christianity is deeply rooted in faith, the presence of the Holy Spirit, and the redemptive power of Jesus Christ.
Joy Amidst Grief:
Using her personal circumstances and scriptural references, Carla emphasizes that joy can coexist with sorrow. She draws from Philippians to highlight Apostle Paul's perspective on joy even while he was imprisoned.
The Power of Perspective:
The episode underscores the importance of the narratives we tell ourselves about pain. By changing our perspective, we can reduce suffering and increase our capacity for joy.
Reclaim Your Power Program:
Exciting news about Carla's upcoming 12-week program, "Reclaim Your Power," designed to help individuals take back aspects of their lives affected by trauma, including spiritual, emotional, and physical health. GET ON THE WAITLIST
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Renewing Hope Course —-> https://www.carlaarges.com/renewing-hope
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
Affirming Truths Facebook Community
5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey friends, welcome to affirming truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ.
Carla Arges [00:00:20]:
My hope is that you will leave.
Carla Arges [00:00:22]:
Each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode.
Carla Arges [00:00:27]:
And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review.
Carla Arges [00:00:30]:
I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
Carla Arges [00:00:34]:
Hello, friends. It is Carla here, and I'm coming to you today with a different message than I intended last night as of this recording. So last night was June 24. My husband's father passed away. And I know I shared with you in last week's episode on grief that this was something that we were facing. And here we are now at the place where one of us has lost a parent. And our life stage, we recognize is shifting to a stage where over the next few years, bearing our parents is going to be a part of our life. And it's a new stage, and it's a new phase.
Carla Arges [00:01:26]:
And I wanted to talk a little bit about joy in the midst of this. And you may think, Carla, joy, you just. There's death. Death is sad. Death is not joyful. And I think it's important as Christians that we recognize that pain and suffering is always going to be a part of our experience. And the tension that exists in the christian life and in the christian walk is that we hold on to joy at the same time that we hold on to sorrow, that they are one and the same. And I want to encourage you today that where you might have sorrow, where you might have pain, where you might have struggled, that does not mean that there needs to be an absence of joy.
Carla Arges [00:02:24]:
In fact, it shouldn't mean that there is an absence of joy. And it's kind of timely in a way. I'm doing a virtual Bible study kicking off this Wednesday. It's free and it's open to anyone. So if you want to be involved in this virtual Bible study, come reach out to me on instagram. I'm not going to put anything about this in the show notes, but the book that I'm leading us through is Philippians, and Philippians is known to be the book of joy and a book about rejoicing. And it was written while Paul was in prison. So here Paul is facing this hard time.
Carla Arges [00:03:08]:
He's facing pain. He's facing struggle. And his message, his underlying message is about joy. And so that tells us something. It tells us that even in the midst of our struggle, that the joy of the Lord should not be absent in our heart. And this isn't the world's toxic positivity. The joy of the Lord does not negate the sorrow of our heart. Jesus wept, the joy of the Lord is not meant to brush our hard feelings under the rug.
Carla Arges [00:03:48]:
No, we are to experience them. But it is to say that in the midst of experiencing the pain and struggle, that there is joy to be had. In Philippians four, four, Paul says, to rejoice in the Lord when. When you're on your mountaintop, rejoice in the Lord when you get your prayer answered. Rejoice in the Lord when things go your way. No, it says, rejoice in the Lord always. And then to emphasize the point, he repeats himself. And again I say, rejoice.
Carla Arges [00:04:29]:
If you didn't hear me the first time, let me repeat it to you. Right. Rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say, rejoice. So how do we do that when we have pain? I think part of this is recognizing that the relationship we have to pain in large part dictates the level of our suffering and our ability to feel the presence of God and his joy in our midst. And what I mean by that is while we all will experience pain, that is the human experience that is our common humanity here in a broken world on this side of heaven, the story we tell ourselves about our pain is actually what produces more of the suffering and is actually what robs us of our joy. Let me give you an example. Let's say, well, let's use Terry, for example.
Carla Arges [00:05:33]:
He's lost his dad. The fact is Terry is now fatherless. The pain is having to bury his dad. Now, the suffering, the level of suffering and whether or not he has joy is going to be based on the story he tells himself. If he tells himself, my life is devastated, it will never be the same. That's going to keep more suffering on the pain. If he tells himself, oh, this means that my mom is going to have a really hard time and I'm going to have to take on all this extra responsibility, and I don't know how to do that, and I'm really stressed and this is causing me a lot of anxiety. He's going to add to his suffering.
Carla Arges [00:06:30]:
But if he says to himself, my father has passed and I trust in the goodness of God to use this for his glory, he's going to experience more peace. If he looks at this and says, my dad has passed, my mom's going to need extra support. But God is going to equip me in being who I need to be for my mom right now, he's going to have a different level of peace, and he's going to have a different level of joy knowing that he doesn't walk the path alone. You see, in both scenarios, the pain is the same, but the story he can tell himself about the pain determines whether or not there is suffering. On suffering and a lack of joy. You see, Paul was in prison when he wrote Philippians. He could have really told himself a terrible story about this. He could have said, I'm in prison.
Carla Arges [00:07:34]:
God's deserted me. He could have said, I'm in prison. I'm in shackles. My life is going to go over. My life's work's going to end. The church is going to fall apart. He could have thought, I'm in prison. I'm scared that I'm going to lose any credibility.
Carla Arges [00:07:57]:
Right? He could have told himself a lot of stories about why he was in prison that would have add to his suffering and stole his joy. But you want to know what he says about his time in prison, about that pain? In chapter one, verse twelve, Paul says that him being in prison is actually part of the plan to advance the gospel. He saw himself as uniquely positioned in the roman prison to be able to spread the gospel to the roman guard and to preach to people in Caesar's palace. He saw it as an opportunity for the pastors that he was training to step up into their calling. He saw it as God's divine plan working. And in that story, in that narrative, he gave his pain. He was rejoicing. He goes on to say that I have learned to rejoice in a lot, and I've learned to rejoice in a little because it's not the circumstance.
Carla Arges [00:09:15]:
It's who is with me in the circumstance, who is ordering my steps in the circumstance, who is with me in my pain in the circumstance. So I want to ask yourself, or I want you to ask yourself, in your pain, in your struggle right now, what story are you telling yourself? What power are you giving to your pain? You see, in both scenarios, Paul acknowledges the pain and the suffering. In my made up scenario and the one that he actually speaks out of in the Philippians, you have pain. Maybe you've gone through some really tough stuff. Maybe you have trauma in your life like I have. And I used to tell myself stories about my trauma, that it meant that my future wasn't going to be good. I used to tell myself that my trauma meant that God deserted me I used to tell myself that my trauma meant that I was unlovable. Can you imagine the sorrow, the struggle, the challenge? I added to my pain with those stories.
Carla Arges [00:10:43]:
But now, oh, has God opened my eyes that my trauma is an opportunity for God's redemptive power to be shown to the many? Yes. Just like Paul in chains was to advance the gospel, my trauma is going to be used to advance the gospel to the glory of God. Hallelujah. That story gives me joy and hope that even though I still can hold space for the pain, the pain has new meaning. The pain is not for naught. There is joy, and it is God that works in us to fulfill his good purpose. And his good purpose is to take our pain and turn it around. To turn it around for good.
Carla Arges [00:11:41]:
God doesn't waste pain.
Carla Arges [00:11:44]:
But in order to get to that.
Carla Arges [00:11:46]:
Point where our pain is not magnified by suffering, to get to the point where we don't allow our pain to rob us of our joy, we have to be open handed with our pain to the Lord and say, God, I don't know how you're going to use it, but I choose to trust you that you will. You know, Terry has had the opportunity to talk more about Jesus in heaven with his parents than he ever has on the doorstep of death. His parents weren't saved, and yet this has given him opportunity to come in with more receptive ears to hear the good news that is joy. You know, on this side of heaven, we don't experience the full reality of the fact that death was conquered at the cross. On this side of heaven, we still have death and pain and sadness and sickness.
Carla Arges [00:13:03]:
But there is a day coming when there will be a new heaven on earth, and there will be no more tears, and there will be no more death. And we will live in the presence of God, worshiping with the angels, saying, holy, holy, holy is the lamb. That day is coming, and that should give us incredible joy and incredible hope and knowing, even though that day has not yet arrived, we have not been abandoned, because God has gifted us his comforter, the Holy Spirit, who equips us to walk this life, who equips us to do this journey, who equips us to handle the pain in a way that gives glory to God and draws.
Carla Arges [00:13:49]:
Us closer to him. That's joy.
Carla Arges [00:13:56]:
Joy is not the world's superficial happiness. That's just about, oh, I got the raise. Oh, I bought myself a new outfit. Oh, you know, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got happiness. In the world is all about what have I consumed. Joy. Joy is not a fleeting happiness. It has nothing to do with what.
Carla Arges [00:14:24]:
We consume or what tries to consume us.
Carla Arges [00:14:28]:
But it has everything to do with the person of Jesus Christ, what he did on the cross, what he continues to do in our life, and what.
Carla Arges [00:14:36]:
He is going to do someday.
Carla Arges [00:14:38]:
That is Joy. Joy is knowing I never face anything alone. Joy is knowing that I have the Holy Spirit with me. Joy is knowing that God has a hope in the future for me. Joy is knowing that even though the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, my God came that I could have life in abundance, even in the midst of pain.
Carla Arges [00:15:02]:
And man do I have an abundant life of joy, of hope, of peace. Man does. My cup runneth over. Thank you Jesus for the joy of my salvation. Thank you Jesus, that this is not my home, but my home is with you one day. Thank you Jesus. My affirming truth for you today is that I will not allow my pain to rob my joy. Instead, I will allow my pain to infer transform my joy.
Carla Arges [00:15:46]:
Because God is with me in my pain and he has a story. He is birthing out of my pain. And it's a good story. And I'm just going to take you back to Philippians four four, rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say rejoice. I'll talk to you next. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you go, I want you to hear about something really cool I am doing.
Carla Arges [00:16:14]:
I am creating a twelve week program called reclaim your power, where we are taking back the things that trauma stole from us. We are taking back our spiritual life, our mental life, our emotional life. We are taking back our physical health. We are taking back our finances. Yes, trauma impacts every area of our life. And this twelve week live top program is going to teach you how to take this stuff back and to really empower you to overcome and walk in the plans and purposes God intends for your life. This is going to be a powerful twelve week time together. I want you to get on the waitlist now while you can so you will be the first to know when it launches and get a sweet discount.
Carla Arges [00:17:04]:
So check out the show notes, get the link, get on the waitlist and I'll see you in reclaim your power.
Carla Arges [00:17:17]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram, arlaarges or Firmingtruth. Can't wait to see you back here next week.
Carla Arges [00:17:30]:
Bye friends.