S7 Bonus 6 | What Does It Mean To Have a “Real” Relationship With God with Kaela McKeg
In this bonus episode, Carla sits down with Coach and Podcast host of His Word, My Walk, Kaela McKeg and talks about developing a real relationship with God.
What does it look like? How do you nurture it? Be encouraged to grow in your relationship with God today.
Connect with Kaela:
Starting the Day with God:
Kaela emphasizes starting the day by saying "good morning" to God, creating a habit of reaching out and expecting a reply.
Building Consistency:
Kaela shares her journey of committing to reading one chapter of the Bible daily, stressing the importance of consistency and discipline.
Investing Time:
Just like building relationships, spending time with God requires effort. Kaela compares the 200 hours needed for a close relationship with someone to the commitment required for God.
Choosing the Right Translation:
Kaela recommends finding a Bible translation that is easily understandable to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Discerning God's Voice:
Kaela encourages looking for God's fingerprints in daily life, recognizing His guidance and acknowledging His presence.
The REAL Relationship Acronym:
Kaela introduces the REAL acronym for a genuine relationship with God:
Reach out
Expect a reply
Accept His truth
Look for Him in your day
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Join In His Image Wellness Collective ---> carlaargeswellness@gmail.com
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Carla: Hey friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Karla Ardges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review.
[00:00:30] Carla: I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
[00:00:37] Carla: Hey Affirming Truths, it's your friend Carla Arges. I am so glad you're here. You are in for a treat today. On this bonus Thursday, we are talking to Kayla McCaig and God divinely intersected our lives on Instagram, which I love. And she has just been such a source of encouragement to [00:01:00] me that I wanted to bless you guys with her voice.
[00:01:03] Carla: Hey, Kayla. Hi,
[00:01:05] Kaela: Carla. I'm so excited. And two Canadians
[00:01:07] Carla: together. Come on. I know. I know. It's, I rarely get an opportunity to interview another Canadian. So this is, we're in different time zones, but we're, we're, we're both in the, the strong North. Um, so you are a Christian mentor, you have a podcast, His Word My Walk, and you really focus on growing a real relationship with God.
[00:01:33] Carla: Yeah, absolutely. And I want to talk about that.
[00:01:35] Kaela: Yeah. It's just the best thing, right? And like sometimes we see God as distanced or as not available or as a God that because we can't speak to him face to face, because we can't physically touch him, it's hard to recognize him as real. And I've just been able to grow in my relationship with him to the point that I, I look at my relationship with [00:02:00] God as I do other relationships in my life.
[00:02:02] Kaela: We talk, we go for walks together, we, you know, do things like I would other relationships, and it has helped me grow so much to just have that realness with God like I do with other people. So paint me a
[00:02:17] Carla: picture. What is that real relationship with God?
[00:02:21] Kaela: Yeah. Um, like for starters, I say good morning to God.
[00:02:25] Kaela: And I say morning because I was watching this comedian years ago and this comedian was asking a man and a woman at his show, like, are y'all in a relationship, you know, men and women sometimes have a different answer, like, you know, whatever, but he asked the man, he said, do you send a good morning text?
[00:02:43] Kaela: If you intentionally send and receive a good morning text message, you're in a relationship and everyone laughed and I laughed. But then I got this thinking of like, do I send God a good morning text? Like, am I in relationship with him to the point of that? So now when I wake up, I say good [00:03:00] morning to God.
[00:03:01] Kaela: And then when I sit down to open his word, the Bible, I feel like it's like the dots of him texting me back. Like it's just this like moment of our relationship is real. I reach out to him. I expect him to reply back. And then we just go, you know, like I just, it's a nonstop. We talk while I'm driving. We talk while I'm at the grocery store.
[00:03:24] Kaela: Like there is not this set 10 minute time. And then we're done for the day. This is a real, like I, like I would any other friend, I'll call you back. I'll call you later. I'll call you while I'm driving. It's just become this amazing understanding for me. Um, of my relationship with God. So I know
[00:03:43] Carla: for a lot of women in faith who, who struggle to feel that closeness to God, they want it, but there's either an intimidation factor, an overwhelmed factor, or a confusion of [00:04:00] like, how do I actually get that?
[00:04:03] Carla: Yeah. Like, how do you, what are like practical things that you do to develop a real relationship with God? Yeah. Yeah. I had
[00:04:13] Kaela: to start reading the Bible every day. Was when it started. So, to be really honest, I, I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but I, started in my young adult life to live and understand a relationship with God.
[00:04:28] Kaela: Um, and then I wanted to learn more. I've always been a really curious person. I like to study and learn. And so I actually like started taking classes. I went on missions trips. I was working for a church full time. Um, and then I went and earned a second degree as a Bible major. And 2010.
[00:04:50] Kaela: And in 2017, I was studying, right? I was like, listening to sermons all the time, only gospel and Christian music at the gym, everything, like reading Christian books, [00:05:00] and I was committed to reading a Christian book every morning before I went to the gym, one chapter, and taking notes, studying, like a Joyce Meyer, a T.
[00:05:06] Kaela: D. Jakes, a whatever, Beth Moore, whatever it was, and I just felt the Holy Spirit totally convict me one morning of, you are spending all this time about God, and And you're spending no time with him. Mmm, that's so good. And I was, I was listening to sermons about him. I was, everything I had learned about God came from someone else's studying.
[00:05:28] Kaela: And I wasn't spending any time with him. And it was that day in 2017, years after my degrees, years after working for a church, that I committed to reading the Bible every day. And I haven't stopped. I committed to one chapter a day, one chapter, I would sit and read one chapter and then I would put it away and then I would come back the next morning and read one chapter and the next morning, read one chapter.
[00:05:50] Kaela: And now, what, six years later, I have this relationship that has grown. Um, Jenny Allen says in one of her new books, find your people. [00:06:00] She talks about this study that in order to have a close relationship with somebody to move them from like acquaintance. To friend. It takes like 200 hours together. Mm-Hmm.
[00:06:10] Kaela: And so she was saying how, like that's why coworkers and like college students, they become friends so fast because you're logging this time together. You're just spending time together. And so to, to have this relationship, like you've, you've gotta put in effort. And it's not always easy, right? It wasn't easy for me to pick up the Bible and read it every day.
[00:06:31] Kaela: But I was committed to what I knew could come, um, and now it's fun, right? Like now it's real, but I had to commit to putting in effort to get to that 200 hours. Like, you know, that's, that's almost a year if you're spending almost an hour a day and I wasn't spending an hour a day, right? But like, how are you willing, what are you willing to put in to get what [00:07:00] you want and you're willing to do it in the world?
[00:07:02] Kaela: Are you willing to do it with God? I love that. I love
[00:07:06] Carla: that picture of that 200 hours. And I often say this, that to get to know God, we have to go to where he's chosen to reveal himself. He could have revealed himself to us in any number of ways, but he has chosen the Bible to reveal himself. So to get to know his character, to build that strong foundation of trust that you can weather the storm clinging to the Lord, you actually have to know him.
[00:07:33] Carla: And trust takes time to develop. It takes knowing character.
[00:07:38] Kaela: And find a translation of the Bible that works for you. Right? Don't force yourself to read something that you don't understand the words. Like, I read the New Living Translation of the Bible every day. There is not one word that I need to look up in a dictionary.
[00:07:53] Kaela: I understand every word that I'm reading. Like, understand the meaning of it. I may not understand the full revelation of [00:08:00] God in the wholeness of what I've read. But I, but I, I understand the words. And so that really helped me too, of like, this isn't a daunting task for me anymore. I'm truly reading his voice that he recorded for me.
[00:08:15] Kaela: And it doesn't have
[00:08:16] Carla: to start. I'm all of a sudden going from zero to an hour a day. No. And it doesn't just have to be one period of the
[00:08:24] Kaela: day. No. Like I truly committed to one chapter every day. Um, and then my, like, the thing is you've got to get invested, right? So I think I probably started in the Book of John.
[00:08:36] Kaela: And then I just kept turning the page. And all of a sudden I'm in Romans. And all of a sudden I'm reading Paul's letters. Because now I'm introduced to Paul. And I'm learning his life. Right? And I'm not saying we should read the Bible start to finish because it's not chronological anyway, but if you can get invested in people's lives.
[00:08:55] Kaela: And like, stop reading with just like hindsight and foresight. [00:09:00] We know Jesus comes, we know Jesus dies, we know there's salvation. But, get into their lives, and into their stories, and what was it really like. Then it's like, the best Netflix documentary ever. Like, I'm really excited for the next phase, for the next thing.
[00:09:20] Kaela: Um, and you've just gotta, yeah, you gotta get invested in the people and how God interacts with them. In your
[00:09:27] Carla: experience, what Pulls people away from that real relationship.
[00:09:33] Kaela: Discipline. Like that's truly it. Um, so before I transitioned into fully becoming a Christian mentor and life coach, I was a personal trainer for decades in the fitness industry after college and basketball and everything.
[00:09:50] Kaela: Um, and so I knew how to build habits. I knew how to get people to build consistency and discipline in their lives. I did it in the fitness realm, [00:10:00] right? And so I took those things, those tactics and use them on myself to grow my relationship with God. So just as you would, if you want to start working out every morning, you would set your clothes and your shoes out the night before, right?
[00:10:17] Kaela: I started setting my Bible out the night before so that it was ready to this day. I fill up my cup of water and bring it to my bedroom at night so that I don't even have to go to the kitchen in the morning. It's like, I have a cup of water with my Bible and I do that first. So I've learned, right? Like if you want to start to lose weight and grow in that area of your life, your discipline says meal prep, some things your discipline says, put in the effort to prepare so that you will succeed.
[00:10:49] Kaela: And I, and I knew how to do that for myself and for others in fitness. So I started to take those things. Like I have a woman that I mentor who prefers to read the Bible at night. Every [00:11:00] morning when she makes her bed, she sets her Bible on her pillow. Oh, it's just these, like these things that you can help.
[00:11:05] Kaela: You can set your Bible with your cup of coffee, put it in your lunch bag at work, right? If you're going to go sit at a park bench and spend your time with God in his word at lunch, put your Bible in your lunch bag, help yourself. Become more disciplined, partner it with a habit that you already have so that you can just start to grow this.
[00:11:25] Kaela: And then just like fitness, when you start to see changes, like when your clothes start to fit differently and you start to gain confidence, that's your motivation to keep going. So when all of a sudden you're like not cussing someone out on the road and you're more patient in the office and you, you start to recognize these changes in yourself, that's your motivation to keep going.
[00:11:47] Carla: I love that. I know you were saying that you have an acronym. for a real relationship.
[00:11:55] Kaela: What is that? I didn't know if we were even going to get to this, um, which was fine if we didn't. Um, [00:12:00] I was teaching about real relationships with someone else and, and I, the Holy Spirit helped me break down the word of the R is to reach out.
[00:12:07] Kaela: Sometimes we don't reach out to God enough. We just expect him to be there. And we just expect. You know, but we don't actually reach out and in a real relationship when you need something or you want something you reach out And then the e is expect him to reply You've got to expect like I said when I say good morning to god and I open his word I I know those dots are there like I know he's texting me back and I expect him to reply and then the a of real is um accept his truth, so Whether it's in your mental health or your life or your relationships or your education, whatever it is.
[00:12:44] Kaela: You've got to accept his truth Accept his truth of who you are, accept his truth of what he has for you. And then the L is to look for him in your day. So many times we, we say things like, gosh, that was lucky, [00:13:00]right? Or we say things like, oh, I didn't think of that before. Why didn't I think of that? And, and I feel like the Holy Spirit told me one day, cause you're not that smart.
[00:13:09] Kaela: Think of that because you're not that smart. That was me telling you that this is an idea for your business, that this is where to go next, that this is what you should consider. And when you can start to look for him in your day and, like, give him the credit, it's not coincidence. It's not luck. You know, I stopped even saying things like, I'm just blessed.
[00:13:29] Kaela: No, I, like, recognize God moving and orchestrating things in my day to, to something as simple as a penny on the ground. Like this is God confirming to me that he will continue to take care of me financially. You know, this is God showing me and recognizing him and, and truly looking for him using a tree.
[00:13:50] Kaela: Yesterday I was out for my walk and I saw this beautiful, it's fall in bc, right? So trees are changing color, and I took a picture of this beautiful tree and there was one in [00:14:00] the other half of my picture that was completely dead, and I was just like, God, how, how is it possible you can have something so alive and so dead?
[00:14:07] Kaela: In the same, like five feet of each other. And now like the wheels are spinning, I'm digging into scripture. Like this may be the next podcast episode that I share. Right. But it's just like looking for him to speak and to share in every moment of my day. Yeah, I
[00:14:23] Carla: call that God fingerprints to look for God's fingerprints in your day because they're always there.
[00:14:28] Carla: They're always there and we get so Fixed in our human nature to look at what we're lacking to look at the bad circumstance to look at the trial that we miss His movement his fingerprints and all of that and we get to recognize his fingerprints how? By you're getting to know him, I'm having that real relationship.
[00:14:51] Carla: Yeah. If someone wanted to start today and said, I'm sick of having a surface level with God. Yeah. I'm [00:15:00] sick of always being unsure because I don't have that deep root of faith. I'm sick of living with my anxiety. I'm sick of living with my worry. I want to grow in God. What is the one or two? Things that they should
[00:15:18] Kaela: start with today find a friend who can encourage you and who is solid and has roots Would be the first one.
[00:15:27] Kaela: I'm not saying you have to pay for a mentor or a coach but find a friend who can pour into you and the second one I would say is to Get a Bible that you can understand and start reading right like you have a seed in you And God is so purposeful and strategic with that seed, but it takes time for roots to grow.
[00:15:48] Kaela: Yeah, and it takes seasons for roots to grow and it takes storms to prove that they're strong enough to build and And sometimes we will look at someone else's life and say like I just want that right now [00:16:00] But you don't know the storms that i've been through You don't know the pruning that I've cried through, right?
[00:16:07] Kaela: Like, to have the roots that I have, you don't know what else has happened. And I told you, it's, it's been years. Right. It's taken years to get to this completely confident point. And in 10 years from now, I'll look back at this season and be like, wow, like, you know, like, wow, there was so much more. Um, but find a friend who will encourage you and who can continually lift you up with no judgment.
[00:16:36] Kaela: But who will continually encourage you, um, and then find a Bible that you can understand and start reading, right? Like your podcast is an incredible resource. My podcast is an incredible resource. Find women who their voices will pour into you. Our voices can pour into you the truth, but you've got to receive it for yourself too.
[00:16:57] Kaela: You've got to go and get it. You've got to have this [00:17:00] conversation with God. You've got to get to know him for you and spend that time with him.
[00:17:05] Carla: Mm hmm. And you need it to discern because there's a lot of voices in the space. Um, a lot of messages being sent your way every day. Some are from our own past experiences, our own minds.
[00:17:20] Carla: Some of it's from the world. Some of it is from twisted legalistic, um, points of view of the word. Like there's all these messages and the only way to discern truth is to know truth. Right. Right. I know I used to be intimidated by the Bible and it took me my journey into regular Bible study was to stop being afraid of it to stop being intimidated.
[00:17:49] Carla: It felt like an overwhelming task to understand the Bible. What would you say to someone that? Feels that way too, like, Kayla, I want to get [00:18:00] my Bible, I want to read it, but I'm afraid I won't understand it. I'm, I'm overwhelmed or intimidated by, by trying to comprehend what the word is saying to me. What would you encourage them with?
[00:18:15] Carla: I love this.
[00:18:15] Kaela: Um, just shift your words. So I'm really big on the words that I choose and how I say things. I, unless I'm teaching other people and this is how they speak, I rarely say that I read the Bible every day. Um, I actually choose to say I spend time with God in his word. I also spend time with God on a walk.
[00:18:35] Kaela: I spend time with God in prayer. I spend time with God in worship. And when I shifted that, it's not this checklist of something I have to do and have to understand. I actually just sit down and I'm like, okay, God, I just want to spend time with you. I just want to hear your voice and everything and, but this entire book page by page is his voice.
[00:18:57] Kaela: Like you just said, there are so many voices in this world [00:19:00] trying to like get into our minds and impact how we think and what we do. So God literally recorded his voice into a book that we can always have. And so I start to look at it that way. I'm like, God, I just, I just want to spend time with you. So it's not this, it's not a how to book.
[00:19:18] Kaela: It's not a, you have to read this or else book. It's not a checklist of if you don't read it, you're not a good Christian. It's it's actually a way to spend time with your God, with the most high God. This is truly, I, I've been sharing lately, I read the book of Jonah, which is one page front and back the whole book.
[00:19:40] Kaela: And it is so not about the fact that he gets swallowed by this fish, right? Like,
[00:19:45] Carla: I recently read it too.
[00:19:47] Kaela: Yeah. And reading that same book, one page front and back for the last week, every single day, the same story every single day. And it's just like, but if I had this mindset of, I have to [00:20:00] keep moving or I have to finish it all, or God's not going to give me these blessings until I read this book.
[00:20:05] Kaela: That's not how he flows. He just wants us to spend time with him. And the more we spend time with him and the more we let his voice in the Bible permeate us, the more we will know his character, the more we'll know how he speaks, the more we'll just be able to understand and see him in our days. There's not this legalistic way to grow
[00:20:27] Carla: now, and it's, and it's not on us.
[00:20:29] Carla: Like now, Holy Spirit brings illumination, the Holy Spirit brings understanding. We just have to draw near,
[00:20:37] Kaela: right? And that's what we have to draw near, right? The Bible says that the Holy Spirit will bring these things back to our remembrance. And I often give the example of, like, when you're in 9th grade and you go to your science exam in school.
[00:20:51] Kaela: And you just sit there and you pray and you're like, Okay, God, bring this all back to my remembrance. And God's like, you didn't put anything in. Like, there's actually nothing in. You didn't [00:21:00] study. There's nothing in for me to bring to your remembrance. That's so true, right? And so like when you put, when you read the Bible, when you spend that time with God, whether you fully understand it or not, your spirit has been fed, right?
[00:21:14] Kaela: Like Carla, I could ask you, what did you eat for lunch a year ago today? You have no idea, right? But your body knows that it was fed. And so even by not remembering and not understanding maybe what you put in, you were fed. And so your spirit knows that you have fed it and there will come a time that it will come back to your remembrance.
[00:21:35] Kaela: And as you continue to read and continue to dig in, but if you can just switch your mindset in that little thing, like, God, I'm actually just coming to spend time with you. I'm just coming to say, yeah, good morning. Will you just talk back to me? And then, and then just start starting the book, start in the book of John, let Jesus like learn his life, see what happens.
[00:21:57] Kaela: So good.
[00:21:59] Carla: Yeah. I could talk [00:22:00] to you for so long about this because I love this topic, but where can people find you if they want more of Kayla, which I'm sure they will. Where can they find you?
[00:22:10] Kaela: Um, the best place is either on Instagram. I am Kayla praise K a E L a P R a Y S. Um, or you can just head to his word, my walk podcast.
[00:22:19] Kaela: com. And then everything that you need is right there and my podcast and I have a free I have a free download for people that's a powerful prayers guide that really teaches you how to take those thoughts captive and make them submit to the truth of God. I give you the scripture to pray over your prayers.
[00:22:36] Kaela: I actually write out a prayer for you to help you take those anxiety. Not good enough. The same strategies that the enemy has been using forever, but it's time to defeat them with the truth. Um, and I have it all laid out for you. So that's there. Just his word. My walk podcast dot com.
[00:22:52] Carla: Amazing. And I will get all those links and put them in the show notes.
[00:22:56] Carla: Thank you so much for being here [00:23:00] and at this time of recording, we are headed into Canadian Thanksgiving. So I will just say, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving, Kayla, and that you truly see God's fingerprints in your life this weekend.
[00:23:13] Kaela: Thank you.
[00:23:17] Carla: Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram at Carla Arges or at Affirming Truth.
[00:23:28] Carla: Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye friends!