S6 EP3 | The One Thing You Can Start Today To Help Deal With Anxiety
Anxiety is real. And it can have a real impact on our nervous system. Today Carla shares the ONE thing that you can do immediately to help work through an anxious moment - and when done as a habit can help reduce anxiety in the long term.
This ONE thing is actually one of Carla’s 4 Pillars of Thriving and is an important part of thriving in general - but especially if you struggle with your mental health.
Need help implementing the 4 Pillars of Thriving in your life? Book a Discovery Call to see how Carla can support you.
So what does it mean to flip the script?
It’s:
1. Identifying a lie
2. Reject the lie
3. Replace it with truth
4. Write a new script with truth and repeat it over and over and over
Flipping that script is not just simply replacing lies with truth. It's rooting who you are in Christ. Who did God make you?
Tangible ways to get started
You’re not alone in your struggle
Understand and embrace that this is where you're at! That God has something more for you and through the power of Christ in you, you have the ability to flip the script
Practice gratitude
Start creating daily rituals - wake up in the morning and before you get out of bed, verbalize gratitude for at least 3 things in your life.
Be Bold
God will use your testimony to lead others to truth and redemption - do be afraid to rise up to the truth of His promises over your life!
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Join In His Image Wellness Collective ---> carlaargeswellness@gmail.com
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Carla: Did you know I offer one on one mindset renewal sessions? Maybe you feel unclear about God's call in your life because of all the other noise around you. Maybe you are stuck in a constant comparison cycle, or maybe you can't silence the negative self loathing thoughts that keep invading your mind. In my one on one sessions, we use biblical truth to rewire your mind, take your thoughts captive and move in confidence where God is calling you.
[00:00:33] Send me an email at carlaargeswellness@gmail.Com to find out more. You'll leave with the tools you need to rewrite the script in your head and take control over your life. Again, email me at carlaargeswellness@gmail.Com and I'll send you all the information you need to get started. I cannot wait to hear from you.[00:01:00]
[00:01:02] Hey friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles and concerns, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
[00:01:29] Hey, Affirming Truths friends. It is Carla here and I am so excited for today's bonus episode. We are talking with Brittany Estes and you are going to love this conversation. I Stalked her on Instagram because her message is just so near and dear to my own heart and what I love to talk about here on affirming truths.
[00:01:54] So without further ado, welcome Brittany. How are you?
[00:01:58] Brittany: I am so good. Thank you so [00:02:00] much for having me.
[00:02:01] Carla: Awesome. Before we dive in to what I want to talk about with you, why don't you tell us a little bit about you? Who is Brittany?
[00:02:10] Brittany: Yeah. So yeah, well, she's a lot. Um, I am, um, a husband to my high school. No, my husband is my high school sweetheart.
[00:02:19] I'm not his husband. Um, and we've been married for almost 18 years. We have seven children, five biological and two adopted and he's a children's pastor. So that works out really well. Clearly we love children, but, in my like free time or really my job is I get to speak so I like to travel and speak to women, Women's ministries and events and stuff as well as i'm an inner dialogue coach.
[00:02:48] So I help people Identify the lies and the negative scripts that they're believing And then how do we replace them with the truth of god's word? So we tear those down and we will rebuild it back up with [00:03:00] truth And that has probably been one of my favorite things that I get to do and it kind of segued into Me writing this book, uh, flipped the script, which just came out in March.
[00:03:09] Carla: Yes, you know, I love that it's a very practical way that we renew our mind what we're called to do.
[00:03:17] Brittany: Yes.
[00:03:17] Carla: How we are transformed and how we can know that good and pleasing will of God in our life. Amazing. So flip the script totally got my attention because It is a practice that I do daily and that I need to do daily, but there might be some people that aren't familiar with that term.
[00:03:36] So what does it mean to flip the script?
[00:03:41] Brittany: Well, um, the idea behind the book in general is we are all believing and listening to lies, broken statements. you know, untrue things that are leaving us feeling less than inferior, beat down, overwhelmed, whatever it may be, we're listening to something that is not true.
[00:03:58] And so we have to actually take [00:04:00] that statement, say no to it and flip it and replace it to God's truth. So we say, we don't have to agree with this. This is not what God's word says. What does his word actually say? What is the truth that we should believe? And then start replacing our mind with that truth over and over again.
[00:04:16] I love how you said. It's something you have to do daily because it's not like a one time fix deal. I may understand truth and know this is what God says, but every day I have to walk that out and choose to agree with that statement instead of listening to and playing into the lies that Satan really just tries to feed us.
[00:04:36] Carla: I love that because the world, the enemy, our own flesh is daily bombarding us with messages. So if we aren't daily planting truth and walking in that truth, then we are going to be overcome by the lies. So
[00:04:53] Brittany: absolutely.
[00:04:54] Carla: In my experience as having written a book myself and other authors that I talked to, [00:05:00] books are often birthed out of our own experience.
[00:05:04] So where were you living in that place of lies? Where had you set up camp? And how did you learn to flip the script? How did you become someone who can now guide others in doing that the same?
[00:05:23] Brittany: Yeah. Um, I think there's many different ones, like in the book, I talk about five main areas that I really feel like women are playing into the scripts and the negative statements, even though like, say, those aren't five areas that you're dealing with.
[00:05:36] You feel seen and known in those, but I think probably the biggest one rooted back to the fact that I thought there was something wrong with me. Like not like, Oh wait, I'm unhealthy or whatever. But I just thought I don't fit the mold anywhere. I, my personality is big and it's a lot and I'm opinionated.
[00:05:55] I'm a natural leader. Um, I love bright and fun, colorful things. I mean, I have pink [00:06:00] hair, so not a lot of me has ever fit into the standard, especially as a pastor's wife, um, with seven children, I have tattoos and a nose piercing and pink, like all of these things were just not average, I would say. And there was a time where my husband's job was kind of on the line because they saw something wrong with the way that I was and how I behaved.
[00:06:24] And it was, I mean, the Lord used it for good. I'm so thankful for it. But in that period of time, like everything I did and who I thought I was. And how I would lead out in ministry with my husband and stuff was called into question and I was thrown into hiding. And I just hid for the longest time thinking, why am I like this?
[00:06:43] Like, what is wrong with me? What have I done that I could be holding my husband's job in the balance that our family safety and security could be called into question that I could be hurting the kingdom of God. Like it was so hard to think, what, what did I do? [00:07:00] But in that hiding space. The Lord just met me there and he was like, it's all right.
[00:07:05] What we're going to do is we're going to rebuild all that had been broken and it's going to be so much stronger that no one's going to be able to tear it down now. And through that process, we went brick by brick, rebuilding areas where I had felt like, okay, there's something wrong with me. And I believed a lie in that scenario that there was something there, because the trick is, they can't love this. He'll plant that seed in your mind and then you have it reinforced with areas of your past where you're like, you remember that moment. See, there is something wrong with you. Oh, wait, you remember that moment. You see, there is something wrong with it. It's so easy for us, right? To buy into it.
[00:07:40] And so in that space where I was like, I'm shutting everything down and I'm just in hiding, the Lord was like, that's fine. We're gonna rebuild it. And we addressed all the issues and we went through it and he was just kinda like, we will use this for good. Because once you find freedom, it becomes contagious and you're gonna shine like that.
[00:07:59] And people are gonna be like, [00:08:00] what is that? Not like, who is Brittant? What is she about? But what is that freedom that she has? Because I want it to. And so through that process, it's been a beautiful thing as a coach and stuff to be like, I get you, I understand you. And I understand that this is going to be a journey, but we're going to walk it together and you can trust me because I've done it and I'm continuing to do it now.
[00:08:21] Carla: It sounds like a lot of that work was not only renewing your mind from the lies, but also truly rooting your identity in Christ. Like who did he create you to be? He didn't make a mistake with the way he created you and he can use you and wants to use you exactly how you are. That's so good. And it's so true, like, part of being able to speak against the lies, because a lot of the lies from the enemy are about identity.
[00:08:58] They are by the wrong names. [00:09:00] And so flipping that script is not just simply replacing lie with truth. It's rooting who you are in Christ. Who did God make you?
[00:09:09] Brittany: Yeah. Absolutely.
[00:09:12] Carla: So I know a lot of my audience like me struggles with mental health. I have bipolar, I have borderline. Um, and God has used it in a beautiful way. There was a lot of lies that I believed about myself because I struggled this way and God has redeemed it so much. But there are so many women that listen that are struggling, struggling with anxiety, struggling with depression, struggling, believing that their struggle. Is really what defines them and that they can't be used by God.
[00:09:49] That is a common theme that comes up. What would you say to the woman that believes that because she struggles, because she has [00:10:00] anxieties or depression or, or, you know, constantly feels overwhelmed by her mental and emotional state. How would you encourage her to take hold of those thoughts and flip the script in her life.
[00:10:17] Brittany: Yeah. Uh, first of all, I'd say like, you're not alone in this struggle. Like you actually have a podcast right here because you're reaching people who are dealing with this. So they're never alone. This is not just them. This is not something that they should feel ashamed about or beat down by. Like this is a common tactic of the enemy, especially now.
[00:10:35] Um, but I think it's in Corinthians when paul says, you know, his power is made perfect through my weakness. This is his ability to shine through you. And you get to share this with other people because you're going to help them walk through that as well. And you get to bring them to the other side. So my encouragement to you is to really just understand, embrace that this is where you're at, that God has something more for you and through the power of Christ in [00:11:00] you, you have the ability to flip the script. So I would start like daily creating rituals where you wake up in the morning and before you get out of bed, you say, all right, I'm grateful for these three things.
[00:11:11] And before you get out. That's how you shift your mind to say, this is what I'm going to do because gratitude cannot be in the same place as fear is gratitude, cannot live in the same space as overwhelm is as anger is whatever it is. So before you get out of bed and everything hits the fan, say, okay, today I'm grateful for it.
[00:11:29] It may just be the breath in my lungs. It may just be the sun on your cheeks, whatever it is, start small, start big, but reframe your mind from the very beginning on what it is. And then I would sit down and say, okay. Here are the lies that I'm believing, God, what do you say about that with truth? And you just have to fight for it. Absolutely fight for it.
[00:11:51] Carla: It is. And, you know, we're warned in the word that the battle is in our mind, the battle is in our mind. [00:12:00] So God said to you, he was going to use your circumstance. Like he does, Romans 8:28, we don't always see that manifested on the side of heaven, but it's true. Romans 8:28, God will work all things out for good.
[00:12:16] So it's, it's easy for me looking in to be like, wow, yeah, he used it for good. She has a thriving business. She wrote this book. This is amazing. But I know that when God works out things for good, there's a lot of inner work that the other people don't see that is really the stuff, really the stuff.
[00:12:38] So how did God use that situation? And when you were hiding to to bloom you for the kingdom, right? Cause that's what he ultimately wants us to use us for, right? For the furthering of his kingdom. How did that show up in your life? And how did you have the courage after being in [00:13:00] hiding to take that step of faith where he was calling you to now?
[00:13:05] Brittany: I know it's so is, and it's more than just like a, a one statement. Honestly, it was a journey. That was the season that I really started running. Um, which if you read in my book, you'll understand that. I also think that flipping the scripts helps involve your body too. Like it's not just mental, but when you bring your body in alignment with the things that you're thinking and doing, it helps you actually get it and feel it and move in it.
[00:13:30] And through my running and stuff, like I would, I say, I tell this to people because I would be running on the streets, like crying out to God. And I'm like crying and people are driving by and I'm thinking they probably think I'm nuts. Like they don't know what's going on with this girl. And I'm like, it's just fine.
[00:13:44] It's just me. God, it's okay. Um, But through that journey, really, it just kind of was like, I needed to know what God said, who he was, how he had created me. And so it was a lot of work on [00:14:00] what are you, who are you? Where is my place? And after we had spent a lot of time in there and I just really fell in love with him again, I really fell in love with who I was and started working that out.
[00:14:12] And it was just so sweet because the Lord would bring people to me to say, you know, your testimony is just incredible or this or that, or what you'd share, how you do. I mean, he just created circumstances where even when I wasn't so loud and big and whatever, like I was, people were like, I am so thankful.
[00:14:31] I am who I am because I see that you are who you are. And it was just so sweet. But there was one day in particular that I remember I was reading in Mark five and it's when Jairus's daughter is raised from the dead. And I honestly, I have this tattooed on my leg because, um, it's Mark 5 41. When Jesus says to the little girl, I say to you arise.
[00:14:52] And I felt like God was saying like, okay, great. You've been hiding for long enough. The time is done. I'm telling you, and I'm calling you up. Let's [00:15:00] arise. And let's run and it was like from that moment on, there was no more hiding, no more anything. It was kind of like, this is who I am. This is what God says.
[00:15:10] And it helped that my husband always knew and always said, and was like, there's nothing wrong with you. This is okay. This is who God made you to be. And, um, there was no turning back from that point. And really, it's just kind of been a journey where I'm like, all right, this is how this is how we're going to do it.
[00:15:26] And there's moments where that gets called back into question, or it's really easy to be like, understand people when they say, Hey, this looks like the Brittany show or, Hey, she's showboating or whatever it is. But I just come back in and I say, okay, God, are you good with what I'm doing? Yeah. Awesome. And we just keep going.
[00:15:44] Um, because there's reality one day I may stumble and may fall, but I'm going to try to keep it in checking until that point happens. I'm going to keep running and I'm going to keep doing and being because in that quiet space, there was almost like a warrior that came out of it. [00:16:00] Someone who is like, I will fight for other people and I will fight for what's right.
[00:16:05] And if I have to go down to help them, I will do it. Absolutely do it. And so now I look at my life as a, an opportunity to help other people find freedom. And if I got to be the one to take the shots for, I will do it as long as they can help find freedom too.
[00:16:22] Carla: I love that. I love that you're going before them, showing them the way using your testimony.
[00:16:27] That's so beautiful. And that's what God does, right? He takes our hard stuff. He turns it into a testimony. And now he's like, reach your hand back and pull the other women behind you along with you. That's good. So I have one last question for you. Um, Okay. So you describe yourself as big, you describe yourself as loud, like pink hair, tattoos.
[00:16:57] How do you, when people want to [00:17:00] keep you small, because I know that we face that when people want to keep us in a box of their own design, how do you respond and how do you respond in a way that reflects Christ?
[00:17:18] Brittany: Well, that's definitely loaded too. Honestly, I'm, I'm very gracious. I get. I'm not here to fight battles necessarily.
[00:17:28] Like I don't need to justify who I am to other people. And I mean that very respectfully, um, I'm here to emulate Christ. So if something that I'm doing conflicts with God's word, let's, let's talk about it. If, if you have trouble with pink hair, Um, then I'm going to tell you about why I have pink hair and the journey that brought me to pink hair, which it's a crazy, amazing story, um, and how lives were changed because of that.
[00:17:55] I'm going to tell like there's purpose behind everything, but the thing that I hold [00:18:00] to, and it's honestly written up in my office, um, cause one friend asked me this question one time and I was like, Oh man, I was not prepared for that. But she said, why are you trying to fit into a box that man made? And I thought you are right.
[00:18:16] And so I just continue to point my mind back to that. I'm going to show up in the ways that he's called me to like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the bright colors, the, the big clothes, the loud personality and things like that. And, and I'm going to keep my heart humble. Because I realized because I am like that, sometimes I may rub people wrong and I'm always going to come in with the, I'm so sorry, I don't want to offend you.
[00:18:39] This is just me being Brittany. If, if there's something innately that I've done wrong, I'll apologize for it. But. I can't shrink back anymore. Like it's, it's not just me, it's me fighting for other people and their freedom. And I got to tell you, when I embrace myself, the more I do, the more that God has created [00:19:00] me, then other people are like, I can actually have the freedom to be who I am.
[00:19:03] And it allows them to do that. And that's. That's what keeps me going.
[00:19:07] Carla: I love that because your confidence is rooted in the fact that you know the truth, that the truth of your identity is in Christ. He's made you who you are and you walk in that truth. And that's all been from flipping the script. Where can people find your book?
[00:19:24] Brittany: Absolutely. So it's at every major retailer, easiest place probably is to jump on Amazon and order it. Um, but it is out now and available, available for people.
[00:19:36] Carla: And where can people find you? Where's the best place for them to come hang out with you?
[00:19:41] Brittany: My favorite place is Instagram. That's just my easiest place. But all across social media, you can find me at @jbrittanyestes.
[00:19:49] Carla: And I'll put that in the show notes for sure.
[00:19:51] Brittany: Awesome.
[00:19:51] Carla: I so appreciate you. I so appreciate the work that you do. I appreciate that you do it with pink hair and loud [00:20:00] colors. I love that about you. Um, I'm Mrs. Neutral, but I love that about you. And I'm just,
[00:20:07] Brittany: Hey, listen, and I'm like, people have to love neutral. Some people have to love bright colors. Like you shine the way you're meant to shine. That's amazing.
[00:20:14] Carla: Do you see my house colors? My house is painted white.
[00:20:19] Brittany: Mine too, but it's so the bright pops,
[00:20:23] Carla: but I appreciate your time. I appreciate the work that you're doing.
[00:20:27] Definitely, affirming truth friends, go find Brittany. Go hang out with her. Be encouraged by her message, by her energy. And thank you so much for being here today.
[00:20:45] Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media. But if we're not, come find me on Instagram @carlaarges or @affirmingtruths. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye friends.[00:21:00]