S8. Bonus 7 | The Power of Forgiveness: Choosing Freedom and Obedience in Faith
In this bonus episode of Affirming Truths, host Carla Arges delves into the powerful and transformative act of forgiveness. She addresses a listener's question about how to forgive, offering insights, and practical guidance on the journey towards forgiveness.
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Key Takeaways
The Crucial Nature of Forgiveness:
Carla emphasizes the crucial role that forgiveness plays in healing from trauma, supporting mental well-being, and deepening one's spiritual life.Overcoming Comfort:
The Choice of Forgiveness:
Forgiveness is presented as a deliberate choice that individuals must make, often on a daily basis, to free themselves from the bondage of unforgiveness. The importance of aligning the heart with the decision to forgive is highlighted.
The Destructive Power of Unforgiveness:
Carla aptly compares unforgiveness to a poison and cancer, elucidating how it does not affect the offender but rather destroys the one holding onto it. She stresses that harboring unforgiveness can hinder progress and prevent individuals from fully embracing their call and purpose in life.
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Renewing Hope Course —-> https://www.carlaarges.com/renewing-hope
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
Affirming Truths Facebook Community
5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey friends, welcome to affirming truth. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. It subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
Carla Arges [00:00:35]:
Hey friends, welcome to another Thursday bonus and another episode where I am answering a listener's question. So if you have something, a topic, or a question you want covered on the podcast for one of the bonus episodes, head over to my instagram, Carla Arges and just send me a DM. I would love to hear from you and I would love to answer your question on the show. So this latest question is, how do I forgive? That is such a big question. Now here on affirming truths. We have talked about forgiveness in the past. I think almost every season I have had an episode that touches on forgiveness because forgiveness is so important.
Carla Arges [00:01:24]:
In fact, it's more than just important.
Carla Arges [00:01:26]:
It is crucial.
Carla Arges [00:01:28]:
It is crucial to walk in forgiveness.
Carla Arges [00:01:31]:
If you are going to heal from trauma.
Carla Arges [00:01:34]:
It is crucial to walk in forgiveness.
Carla Arges [00:01:37]:
If you're going to help your mental well being.
Carla Arges [00:01:40]:
It is crucial to walk in forgiveness.
Carla Arges [00:01:42]:
If you want to have a deep spiritual life. You cannot get around this. Forgiveness is necessary. And I know, and I know it can be hard if you are someone that's had trauma in their life. If you've had hurt in your life, it can feel like you are letting people off the hook. If you're forgiving them, it can feel like you're saying, my pain is not important if you're forgiving them. Forgiveness, though, is not about excusing someone else's behavior. In fact, ultimately, forgiveness is not even about the other person.
Carla Arges [00:02:23]:
Forgiveness is about freeing you from the bondage you keep yourself in with unforgiveness. See, God commands us to forgive. Even the disciples were like, okay, but how many times? Like, seriously, God, how many times do I have to forgive? And Jesus basically said, unlimited times. There is no cap on how often and how much you have to forgive. And we have to remember, if we are to be like Jesus, Jesus forgave so much in us. Did we deserve forgiveness? Are we worthy of forgiveness? No. It's a free gift he gave us, and he requires us to pay that gift forward. In fact, it says in the word that if we are not to forgive, how is our father in heaven going to forgive us.
Carla Arges [00:03:17]:
See, we put a spiritual block on our relationship with God when we don't operate in forgiveness. Now, how do you forgive? That was the question. The short answer, the simple but not easy answer, is that you make a choice. Forgiveness ultimately is a choice. And for many of us who have been through trauma, it's a choice that we have to make every day, that we wake up every day to operate with a heart of forgiveness. Now I talk about this in renewing hope. Forgiveness is not often the first step. When you are coming out of trauma, there is a level of acceptance and grief that you have to move through, but you ultimately do have to come to forgiveness.
Carla Arges [00:04:07]:
When you do not forgive, you keep yourself locked in trauma. You keep yourself locked in trauma. Maybe you've heard the analogy that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Unforgiveness is a cancer in you. It does nothing for the other person. Your unforgiveness of the other person does not impact their life one iota. It does, however, destroy you. It destroys you.
Carla Arges [00:04:42]:
It is a poison. It is a cancer. It will lead to bitterness. It will lead to resentment. It will lead to a hardened heart. That's not what God wants for you. See, whenever God calls us to do something, it's always with our best interests in mind. When God calls you to forgive, it's because he has your best interests in mind.
Carla Arges [00:05:06]:
Because he knows the bondage and the chains that come with unforgiveness. He knows that an unforgiven heart makes room for the enemy to move. He doesn't want that for you. I know. For a long time, I struggled with forgiveness, particularly with my parents. I struggled because they were not apologetic. It's hard to forgive someone who doesn't think that they need forgiving. It's hard to forgive someone who refuses to apologize.
Carla Arges [00:05:46]:
But I had to get to that place where I was talking with God and realizing it wasn't about them. It was about me. Who do I want to be? Who is God calling me up to be? God is calling me up on mission. God has plan and purpose over your life. God has a call over your life. And you will never fully be able to walk in that call and live out that purpose. If you harbor unforgiveness and resentment in your heart, you just won't be able to do it. You'll be chained.
Carla Arges [00:06:22]:
You won't be able to move forward where God wants to lead you. Do not allow yourself to sit in a present of your own design. I get it. The pain was not your fault. The pain could have been devastating. The hurt can be so deep, the betrayal so raw. But unforgiveness only keeps you in pain. Do you want to be free from your pain? Forgiveness is the way to go.
Carla Arges [00:06:54]:
And it is a choice. You wake up and you decide. I choose this day to forgive, Father. God, help me in my unforgiveness. Holy Spirit, help me to move into forgiveness. I surrender this anger to you. I surrender this resentment to you. I surrender this unforgiveness to you.
Carla Arges [00:07:16]:
Help me to walk in obedience. Help me to walk in forgiveness. Lord, transform my mind and my heart towards this. Free me from the bondage. And that is a prayer that you're probably going to have to do every day for a long time until your heart posture matches that prayer. See, God can help you walk in forgiveness, but you first have to surrender your unforgiveness. You have to be willing to say, I am going to choose to forgive. And it will be a journey, and it will be a process, and it's a choice that you're going to have to come back to time and time again.
Carla Arges [00:08:00]:
But then you continue to choose. I choose this day to serve my lord and be obedient to his word. I choose this day to walk in forgiveness. I choose today to trust that my father is just and loving. I choose this day. Jesus, that's how you forgive. That's how you forgive. One choice, one day, one surrender at a time.
Carla Arges [00:08:35]:
I do go through forgiveness and renewing hope. Go check out that course if this is where you're struggling in your trauma and your pain. But, friend, do not allow yourself to stay in bondage. Free yourself from the pain that unforgiveness is keeping you trapped in. I'll talk to you later.
Carla Arges [00:09:01]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram, at the arches, or at affirming truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye, friends.