S8.16 | The Proverbs 31 Woman in Context
In this episode of "Affirming Truths," host Carla Arges dives into one of the most discussed and, sometimes, misunderstood passages in the Bible: the Proverbs 31 woman. Carla provides an insightful and nuanced interpretation, contextualizing the scripture to dispel common misconceptions. This episode aims to relieve women from the pressures of perceived perfection and redirect focus towards a heart-driven relationship with God.
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Key Takeaways
Misconceptions About Proverbs 31:
Many women feel burdened by the high standards set by the Proverbs 31 woman, perceiving it as an unattainable checklist.
Context is Crucial:
CarlLikely written by King Lemuel (potentially Solomon) as advice from his mother on what qualities to seek in a noble wife. The audience is men, specifically the king’s son and his court. It’s written as an acrostic poem that uses metaphorical and illustrative language.
Focus on Heart Posture:
Instead of striving for performance-based perfection, women should focus on nurturing their relationship with God, as true transformation stems from a surrendered heart. To better understand and interpret scriptures, check out Carla’s Bible Study 101 course, available on CarlaArges.com. This course provides tools for correctly interpreting the Bible and avoiding burdensome misinterpretations.
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Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
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Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
Affirming Truths Facebook Community
5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey friends, welcome to affirming truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad here, let's get started. Hello friends. Welcome to this edition of affirming Truth.
Carla Arges [00:00:40]:
I hope you guys are well. I am your host Carla, and today I wanted to do a bit of a dive into the proverbs 31 woman. I work with a lot of women in one to one coaching and just in ministry that have this sense that they're not enough and that they're failing. And sometimes in christian circles we have elevated this idea of what the proverbs 31 woman is actually to the burdening of real women trying to live godly lives. And I recently took my bible study group through a deep dive into the proverbs 31 woman and before we got started, I asked them, what is your impression of this text? And I even asked my instagram followers this as well. And things that came back were I feel like I'm inadequate. This feels like a huge to do list. It feels like an impossible standard to meet.
Carla Arges [00:01:50]:
It makes me feel less than. And there was a lot of those things that came up, and maybe for you that is true as well. And so I want us to go through it kind of like a mini Bible study together. Now, obviously this is a short podcast that we won't get into the depth and breadth that would be in a deeper study. But I wanted to take you through a little bit of a study into the proverbs 31 woman and give you a new perspective on it, and then therefore yourself as well. So before we start, I'm going to actually read the proverbs 31 woman to you that we find it in proverbs 31 and it starts in verse ten, and I'm going to be reading from the NiV version, a wife of noble character who can find she is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Carla Arges [00:02:51]:
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like a merchant ship bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night. She provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it out of her earnings. She plants a vineyard she sets about her work vigorously. Her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
Carla Arges [00:03:22]:
In her hand, she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household, for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed. She is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity.
Carla Arges [00:03:59]:
She can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Carla Arges [00:04:28]:
Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. Wow. So, yes, at first glance, this can seem like a really overwhelming list of things to do. She is taking care of her household. She is having her own entrepreneurial business. She's getting up early. She's doing all these things. And it can feel like, man, I can barely get through the day.
Carla Arges [00:04:57]:
And here is the standard of woman I'm supposed to be. And I think often we think that because we miss out on context. If you have taken my Bible study 101 course, you will know I always drill home. Context is important. If you haven't taken it, go to carlaartis.com. You can find it there, and it is worth going through. So the context, when we think about the context, we think about who wrote it, who was the audience, what was going on at the time. What genre of writing is this? And these are all important factors that we can appropriately interpret the scripture.
Carla Arges [00:05:39]:
So who wrote it? It's not definitive, but many scholars believe that it was Solomon. It is listed as King Lemuel, which means devoted to God. And many scholars believe that was actually Solomon's pen name and that he is actually the author. It's not definitive, but it is someone of kingship, someone of royalty. And this is described as words being passed down to his mother. So he's sharing wisdom that his mom gave him about how to pick a wife. And who was the audience? Guys, the audience was not women. This was not a list given to women on how to perform.
Carla Arges [00:06:23]:
This was a man talking first to his son and then secondly to the men of the court on how to find a noble woman. This was not instructional for women. This was instructional for men. And that is a huge part of the context. I want you to understand, think about yourself. If you were going to tell your child what to look for in a spouse, you would say great qualities, right? You would want your child to look for amazing qualities. And this is essentially what's happening. This king is passing down wisdom his mom gave him in choosing a wife, down to his son and to men on what characteristics to look for in a woman.
Carla Arges [00:07:09]:
Now, we have to understand, too, the genre of this. This is an acrostic poem. This was written as a poem. An acrostic poem means that each line begins with a successive letter in the Alphabet. So here it was the hebrew Alphabet. So each line, you know, alpha, beta, whatever the Alphabet is, this was a poem. And what we know about poetry is poetry captures the essence of something. It provides illustration, it uses metaphor.
Carla Arges [00:07:41]:
It is not an exact description or prescription for anything poetic. Language is illusionary, right? It's metaphoric. It's all of that. So we have to keep this in mind, too. This is a poem that is written from one man to his son and men of the court on attributes to look for in a wife. And it's important to notice, right, when we look at context, we also want to look at the surrounding verses. Proverbs one to nine. This king Solomon or Lemuel is passing down wisdom on his son, on how to live a moral life, on how to be a noble man himself.
Carla Arges [00:08:25]:
So ProverbS 31 starts as, here's how you live to be a noble man, right? Here's how you live a moral life, and then here's how you find a woman of noble character. And this is what noble character looks like. So this poem is capturing the essence. If you were to describe to your son or your daughter what you would want to look, or in a spouse, you see that it's all captured here in this poem. Essentially, what's being described is a woman who is faithful, trustworthy, diligent, capable, strong, generous, fearless, respected, modest, wise, hardworking. Isn't that the same advice you would give your kid now? You would know there's no perfect woman out there, right? No one's perfect. You would know when you're talking to your son or daughter about a future spouse that there is no perfection. Everyone comes with their brokenness because we're all broken people.
Carla Arges [00:09:32]:
But you would give a list of character attributes you would want them to look for, not that you would ever hold them to a standard of perfection, but that they would have these character traits to come alongside and help to support your spouse or your son or daughter in being who God created that created them to be so. This was not a prescriptive descriptive word to women on how to behave. This was a heartfelt moment between father and son on the characteristics of a woman that would be worthy of marrying, as he himself is working on himself to become a noble man. Do you catch that here? This is about being who God actually created us to be. Near the end of the proverbs 31 1031, it says a woman who fears the Lord. Essentially all these character attributes come from the fact that she is a woman of God, that she fears the Lord when we fear the Lord, when we are women of God, when we are living for God, the fruit of the spirit is made manifest in our life. And a lot of these attributes are just that, the fruits of the spirit. And so women, here is what I want you to get out of the heart of the proverbs 31, woman.
Carla Arges [00:11:06]:
It is looking at her heart posture. God is always concerned about the heart. He is not concerned about performance. Performance without heart is meaningless. He is looking for heart. A heart transformed, a heart surrendered and submitted, a heart living for Christ. And in that heart, the overflow ends up being these fruits of the spirit, these character traits. And the question is, if we are lacking seeing these character traits in our life, if we are lacking seeing these fruits of the spirit in our life, the remedy is not to try harder to reach some standard of perfection.
Carla Arges [00:11:53]:
The remedy is to draw closer to God and fall more in love with God and become more surrendered to God, because it is in that relationship with God that these character traits come to fruition in our life. Are you following me here? The proverbs 31 is not a heavy mantle to carry. It is actually a beautiful call to be in deep relationship with the Lord so that your life pours out the fruits of the spirit. The call to men is to be a noble man who is worthy of this woman, and he should honor and respect her, that he should sing her praises. This is a beautiful example in a different perspective of what we're called to do in Ephesians, submitting one to another. It's not that the man lords over the woman. The man is called to sacrifice, the man is called to mutual submission. And here the man is called to a standard of nobility that he is looking for in a woman.
Carla Arges [00:13:08]:
And that standard comes from being a man or woman of God. So if you are struggling in trying to be a proverbs 31 woman, if you have felt inadequate against the standard, hear what it is. The ultimate standard is to be a woman of God, to chase after God, to have a heart for God, to have a heart that is led and guided by the Holy Spirit. That is the essence of a proverbs 31 woman. This is why context is so important. This is why understanding the author, the audience, the genre, all of those things are important in understanding and interpreting scripture properly. It points to the transformational power of God. It points to a life in service to God.
Carla Arges [00:14:11]:
It points to a life living for God and the overflow that comes from that. I hope you take away something from this that gives you a little bit of relief of a sense of duty in your womanhood and more of a sense of godly in your womanhood. It's not duty. It's not performative, it's not a checklist, right? This was just a poem describing character traits that are actually that overflow of a heart dedicated to God. Guys, if you want to learn more about how to study the Bible and how to interpret scripture correctly and the different Bible study methods that there are, go check out Bible study 101. It's a beginners type course. It's only four modules. You can find it at Carla Arges.
Carla Arges [00:15:08]:
Can I say my name? Carlaarges.com and check it out. And become more adept and more skilled at studying the Bible so you don't become burdened by misinterpretations. So many women have been burdened by misinterpretations, either of their own misinterpretation or how it may have been weaponized against them, especially by men, when men have to realize, no, the audience here is not a woman. The audience is the man. And the man first is called to nobility before looking for a woman of noble character herself. All right, guys, I hope that this was helpful. I hope you guys have a great week, and I will see you on, well, you'll hear me on Thursday with our bonus episode. Be blessed, guys.
Carla Arges [00:16:06]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram at Carla Arges or at affirming truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye, friends.