S8.Bonus 11 | Your Language Matters: The Crucial Role of Words in Transforming Your Life
In this bonus episode Carla shares her personal transformative journey in changing lifestyle habits by focusing on the power of language and identity. She highlights how our internal and external language can significantly impact our ability to make lasting behavioral changes. By renewing our minds and aligning our identity with Christ, we can create a foundation for sustainable transformation.
Did you know that Carla is a Christian Mental Health coach?
See if working with her is what you need in your current season.
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Key Takeaways
Language as a Prime Influencer:
Carla emphasizes the impact of language on our brain's response to behavior change. By reframing negative language such as "I'm not a morning person" to positive affirmations like "I embrace mornings," she demonstrates how our spoken and internal language can prime our brains to support the changes we seek.
Identity Rooted in Language:
Carla shares her personal experience of declaring herself a "non drinker" instead of using language suggesting a temporary pause from drinking. This shift in identity-based language not only eliminated cravings but also strengthened her resolve, showcasing the power of identity rooted in language.
Renewing the Mind for Transformation:
Through her coaching experience and personal journey, Carla highlights the importance of renewing our minds in alignment with Christ's truth. By reestablishing our identity and addressing the language we use internally, we can effectively overcome old habits and embrace lasting change.
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Renewing Hope Course —-> https://www.carlaarges.com/renewing-hope
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
Resources:
5 Steps to Building Resiliency
Affirming Truths Facebook Community
5 Tips for Overcoming a Negative Body Image
Who You Say I Am Biblical Affirmation Cards
TRANSCRIPT
Carla Arges [00:00:08]:
Hey friends, welcome to affirming truth. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. It subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. I am so glad you're here. Let's get started. Hey friends, welcome to this bonus episode.
Carla Arges [00:00:38]:
I am so glad you're here and I'm so excited to share with you what I'm going to share with you today because it has been transformative in my life and whenever I latch onto something that is producing profound change in my life, I want to share it with you guys. And I've talked a little bit about it on my Instagram stories. You can always follow me there at Carla Arges, but I wanted to share with you in more detail here on this platform. This is actually something that I teach my clients. This is actually something that I coach my clients on and to go around and use that tool myself and see the change just is reinforcing me. How valuable this is as part of my coaching, which, by the way, I have two spots available for April in the show notes. You can book a discovery call and we can chat what that could look like for you. But I have to make some lifestyle changes, and there are a couple of the lifestyle changes that I have to make that have historically been difficult for me.
Carla Arges [00:01:47]:
If you're wondering why I have to make these lifestyle changes, it's just overall health and wellness and really wanting to become even more of who God created me to be. Right? And he's so gracious. He treats us like an onion, right? There's layers. There's layers. He doesn't expect us to transform completely all at once. He helps us get to one level, he helps us get stable at that level. And then he calls us someplace higher and he does the work to do something higher. So I am in this process with God right now where he is calling me higher.
Carla Arges [00:02:26]:
And so that is requiring me to make some lifestyle changes. And like I said, a couple of the changes have historically been hard for me. And I'm going to tell you two of the changes that I'm doing. I'm doing a lot of changes, but two of the changes I'm doing is waking up a bit earlier to go for a long walk to ensure that I hit ten k steps a day. And the other change I'm making is no longer drinking alcohol. Not that I ever had this big issue with alcohol, but I'm not drinking alcohol anymore. And those two things historically have been very hard for me. And I have tried in the past, numerous times, to, a, get up earlier to move my body and b, stop drinking alcohol.
Carla Arges [00:03:19]:
And I can tell you I have never been successful in the long term with either. And really, what it has come down to is the language and the wiring I have been doing with my brain in approaching these behavior changes. Let me break that down for you. Let's start with the waking up early. I have always said I'm not a morning person. I have always said waking up in the morning is hard for me. And maybe that is something that you say, too. You want to start a Bible study in the morning, but getting up earlier to get that in, you say, is hard for you.
Carla Arges [00:04:03]:
You're not a morning person. You really need your sleep. You say that language. Maybe you've tried it, and every time you've tried it, your body has just rebelled. It's been tired, you've been sluggish the whole day. And I want to tell you, a large part of the reason why that's happening, based on neuroscience, is because you are priming your brain to fail at the very activity you want to be successful at. When you use that language, you are priming your brain to fail at the change you want to make. You see, the brain does not like to be in disagreement with its experience.
Carla Arges [00:04:49]:
This is why I say to what we focus on grows, right? If we focus on, say we're buying a new car and we're going to buy a Honda, all of a sudden we see the same models of Honda around. That's not because all of a sudden, more people bought Hondas. It's because you've primed your brain to see it that way. It's also like when, let's say, you're going to be tickled in anticipation of being tickled, your body reacts even before you get tickled. Why? Because you have primed your brain and your body to react based on what you're thinking. Based on your thought, life, right? And there is power in the spoken word, and there's power over the words and the stories we tell ourselves in our mind. So when you tell yourself, I'm not a morning person, when you confess over yourself that waking up is hard, guess what? When you wake up, your brain is going to say, oh, I don't like doing this, and this is hard. And so your brain will produce evidence to make that belief true, and your body will fall in line with the brain's attempt to make evidence that that's true.
Carla Arges [00:06:05]:
Are you following here? The brain does not like to be in disagreement with your thought life. So what you think your brain will try to create based on how it filters information, based on how it tells your body to respond. So one of the things that I've been doing is changing my language about getting up. I have stopped saying, thinking that mornings are hard for me. I'm not a morning person. I have changed my language to say, I embrace mornings. I'm excited for each new morning. I'm looking forward to the morning.
Carla Arges [00:06:50]:
And can I tell you, the last little while I've been waking up earlier to get my bible study and my hour long walk in, it hasn't been a struggle. In fact, today is Sunday, the day that I'm recording this. I always sleep in on Sundays. I get up, get ready and go to church. I woke up before my husband and my son this morning to go for a walk, to listen to worship music. I'm listening to a book on audio, on audible as well. And I got my walk in. And can I tell you, waking up saying, I embrace this morning, I'm excited for this day.
Carla Arges [00:07:35]:
I'm excited for this walk. Changed everything. I didn't do it sluggishly. I wasn't dragging myself. There was no misery attached to it. Because my brain, I'm priming my brain, right? To find things in agreeance with the statement that I'm saying that I embrace mornings. So my brain is filtering information, filtering my thoughts to be in agreement with the statement that I embrace mornings. My body, my brain is sending my body signals to say, oh, this is something we embrace.
Carla Arges [00:08:14]:
We should be happy about it. We should be excited about it. I'm priming my brain through my language. The language that you say is priming your brain and your body on how to respond. What are you confessing over yourself? The other change that I made to my language was in term of cutting out alcohol. When I have tried in the past, I have used the language that I'm stopping drinking. I'm taking a pause from drinking. I'm trying to have a dry month.
Carla Arges [00:08:51]:
Now. These all may sound like, what's wrong with that? Isn't that an accurate statement? The problem with those statements is that they are in process. And in process still involves alcohol. Think about this. When you say, I'm stopping at a stop sign, the car is still rolling. It's not completely stopped. There is still motion. So when I'm stopping drinking, drinking is actually still involved in that underlying.
Carla Arges [00:09:23]:
That's the message we say to their brain. So I made a switch in my language. Instead of saying I'm stopping drinking or I'm trying to quit drinking, I have declared myself a non drinker. I have now identified myself and root an identity marker in my brain that I am not a drinker. So how my body is responding to seeing alcohol to what could be a craving is changed. Before, when I would say I was stopping drinking, I would get these cravings right because I'm trying to stop something that is part of me that I don't want to stop, that is still in process. But when I have switched my language to declare I am not a drinker, I do not drink. I am not even getting cravings.
Carla Arges [00:10:19]:
Because if a craving peaks up, my brain is saying, that doesn't belong here, she's not a drinker. I even went out to dinner with my friend who is a drinker. She ordered drinks during dinner. I was surrounded by people drinking. In the past, that would have been a harder situation for me. Can I tell you, I did not even flinch. I declared going into that restaurant, I am not a drinker and I did not even flinch. Our language matters.
Carla Arges [00:10:51]:
How we are priming our brain matters. If you are someone who is trying to overcome trauma, but you keep using language associated with victimhood, you are actually going to remain a victim. What do you want to change in your life? You can't just focus on the behavior change. You have to focus on the language around that behavior. Do you follow? You have to focus on the language around that behavior. If I want to live more the way God has designed me to live, it's not just the actions of going through the change. It is fundamentally having to rewire my brain to be the brain of the person I need to be. And this is the beautiful thing.
Carla Arges [00:11:50]:
When God calls us to renew our minds, we can. We can. The brain is not a permanent wired fixture. New wiring can happen. I talk about this in renewing hope. If you want a course to take on how to overcome, how to dive into your core beliefs, how to rewire your thinking, get renewing hope the link is in the bio. Sorry, the link is in the show notes, but your language matters. I think one of the reasons we often fail at implementing new habits, one of the ways that we fail when we try to disrupt old habits and create new behaviors, aside from the fact we sometimes try to take on too much, and that's another topic, is that we try to change the behavior.
Carla Arges [00:12:47]:
But we haven't changed the mindset. We haven't changed how we identify in relation to that behavior. Right? Like, if I want to run a marathon, but I keep telling myself I'm not a runner, as I try to train for running, I maybe go out there and try training, but if my inner dialogue is I'm not a runner, I'm not a runner, how well do you think my training is going to go? How far do you think I'm going to get in that training? How well do you think I'll perform at that marathon? But if I start going out there training and I tell myself I am an athlete, I am a runner, this is what I do. How do you think my training is going to go? How do you think I'm going to perform in the marathon? There will be a marked difference in being able to change the behavior and become who you want to become when you change the language and not just try to change the behavior. This is why thoughts matter. This is why I spend so much time with my one on one clients. With our thoughts, they matter. The language that we use internally, the language that we use spoken out loud matters.
Carla Arges [00:14:06]:
What do you need to change in your life? Start with the language that you so important, guys, this is renewing your mind in action. This is reestablishing your identity in alignment to who Christ says you are. This is taking thoughts captive and putting them into the obedience of Christ. That is what this is, guys, if you need help with this, reach out. It's what I do. It's what I love supporting women in. Remember, your language matters. I'll talk to you next time.
Carla Arges [00:14:53]:
Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram at Carla Arges or at affirming truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye, friends.