SEASON 1 EPS 8 - Comparison
In this episode Carla shares her own struggle with comparison and the dangers of letting it go unchecked.
Opening Thoughts
Carla initially planned a different topic but felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to address comparison. She shares her recent struggle with comparing her ministry to others, emphasizing the need to surrender personal plans to follow God's guidance.
The Dangers of Comparison
Carla discusses the impact of comparison, leading either to envy or pride, robbing individuals of joy and hindering them from recognizing their unique blessings and calling.
The Vertical Perspective
Highlighting the importance of looking vertically towards God, Carla urges listeners to focus on becoming more like Christ each day.
Fruit of the Spirit
Drawing from Galatians 5:22-25, Carla connects the fruit of the Spirit with the signs of living out one's calling, emphasizing love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Embrace Your Unique Calling
Encouraging listeners to embrace their unique calling, Carla stresses the significance of being faithful in the current platform and season, acknowledging that God's pruning precedes expansion.
Conclusion
Carla concludes by calling listeners to surrender to God's plan, glorify His name, remain humble, and focus on their unique calling. She offers hope and emphasizes the faithfulness of God when individuals commit to glorifying Him.
Affirming Truth - I am uniquely gifted to where God plants me. My calling is my own and cannot be compared to others
Key scripture:
Romans 12:6
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Join In His Image Wellness Collective ---> carlaargeswellness@gmail.com
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Carla: Hey friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode, and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review.
[00:00:30] Carla: I am so glad you're here. Let's get started.
[00:00:40] Carla: Hey friends, it is Carla here. Guys, I had a totally different topic in mind to record today, but over the last couple of days, the Holy Spirit has really been convicting me of something and I felt prompted to share with you on [00:01:00] this instead. And this is just an example of us having to sometimes surrender our own plans and our own agendas and follow what God wants us to do.
[00:01:13] Carla: And I would just encourage you to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's prompting in your life as well. So what has he convicted me of over the last couple of days? I've kind of It's embarrassing, maybe even to admit it, but the truth is I have been stuck over the last few weeks in comparison, in comparison.
[00:01:43] Carla: You know, I've launched this podcast over the past year, I've moved towards having an online ministry towards women to encourage them in their walk of faith. And I have been. [00:02:00] Comparing myself to other women in ministry to other women with online platforms that speak God's truth. I've been comparing myself to other women that have podcasts geared to women, and it has made me feel so stuck this week.
[00:02:19] Carla: This week I was going through different topics I could share on you today and wondering which ones would resonate more and trying to do all the calculations on what would be popular and what would be this. And I realized that I wasn't doing what God wanted me to do because I had taken him out of the equation.
[00:02:41] Carla: Right? I wasn't comparing my plans to what God was prompting me to do. I was comparing myself to what he's prompting others to do. And I don't know if this will resonate with you or not. Comparison can show up in a lot of ways, [00:03:00] right? We compare Our mothering skills to someone else, you know, who has like a Pinterest birthday party and we're barely slapping together some balloons for our kids.
[00:03:14] Carla: We compare our gift of hospitality to others that seem to be able to open their home with ease to others. We compare ourselves to the extroverts or the introverts, you know, sometimes we get stuck looking at how grass the green appears on the other side, that stops us from watering our own lawns. And that's what comparison does and I even have a whole module on this in my God confidence course.
[00:03:46] Carla: Comparison. Rob's us of walking in our purpose, because here's what comparison does it does one of two things. It either causes you to envy [00:04:00] to disregard the gifts and the blessing and the talent and the. Calling that God has given you and envy someone else's blessing and envy someone else's calling and envy someone else's gifts.
[00:04:14] Carla: It causes us to envy. And can I tell you when we're stuck envying and being jealous over other people, we're not taking care of our own lawn. When we are so envious and jealous and longing for someone else's platform. We are not taking care of what God's given us to take care of, right? We're not investing the talents he's given us.
[00:04:46] Carla: We're too busy seeing what other people are doing with their talents. And on the flip side, right, like that makes us feel like crap. Can I say that? It makes us feel bad. It makes us [00:05:00] doubt our gifting, doubt our blessing, doubt our calling. That in order to make ourselves feel better. We'll find someone that we can say, well, at least I'm better than them.
[00:05:11] Carla: At least I have a, a better handle on my calling than they do. At least I'm doing this for the kingdom. At least I'm doing this right. And then it causes us to be prideful. Comparison leads you down one of two paths and oftentimes they coexist together. Envy and pride. And those things cloud our vision.
[00:05:41] Carla: When we are so busy looking at the horizontal, comparing ourselves to our peers, we're missing where we should be looking, and that's the vertical. What does God desire of me? What blessings has he given me? How [00:06:00] is he calling me to show up? Because it's going to look different. I mean, we read in Romans that we all have different gifts, that we're all members of the same body, but like body parts, we all serve a different purpose.
[00:06:19] Carla: The ear can't do what the heart can do, but they're both needed to be whole. The eye can't do what the hand can do. They're not designed the same, but they're both needed to be whole.
[00:06:35] Carla: It's the same in the kingdom. We each have a role and responsibility and a purpose in the kingdom. It does not look the same. It does not look the same. But it's needed in order for it to be whole and even think about the hairs on our head. There are many hairs on our head, just like I'm [00:07:00] discovering there's many women in online ministry, but they each uniquely fulfill a purpose to bring fullness.
[00:07:11] Carla: Where are you comparing in your life? And how is that stopping you from seeing the blessing and the calling that God's placed in your life? Are you wishing that you had a voice to be on the worship team and you're so envious of that, that you're missing your calling? And how you have a gift for children, maybe.
[00:07:39] Carla: Are you so envious of someone else's marriage that you're missing the Holy spirit prompting on how you can grow yours? Are you so caught up in what blessings you see your sister have? That you are missing out on the [00:08:00] bounty that God is giving you.
[00:08:05] Carla: Are you looking down your nose at someone? Thinking, well, at least I go to church every Sunday. Or, at least I feed my kid organically. Or, at least, you know, my husband and I don't bicker like that. Are you getting prideful? Because in both cases, your eyes Are on the horizontal instead of the vertical. The only one we should be comparing ourselves to is Christ.
[00:08:46] Carla: Are we looking more like him each day? Are we looking more like him each day? You know, they say the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and [00:09:00] self control. But it also says in Galatians 5, 22 to 25, let us not become conceited. Provoking and envying each other, the fruit of the spirit, the signs of the spirit working in our lives, the signs of us fulfilling our calling and our mandate here is love a loving on one another joy.
[00:09:31] Carla: Man, comparison is a thief of joy. How can you be joyful in the abundance God has given you when you are too busy looking at everyone else? The fruit of the spirit is peace. Guys, the last few days when I was stuck at comparing my ministry to others and feeling bad about myself, I did not have peace and turmoil.
[00:09:56] Carla: I had turmoil, [00:10:00] forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. I almost was not faithful to my call to podcast this week because I was so downcast in my seeming lack of ability in ministry. Because my ministry looks different than others, man, what foolishness that was for me. Of course, my ministry looks different than others.
[00:10:31] Carla: I have a different gift. Of course, my ministry looks different than others because the audience of my ministry is different. Who God calls to me is a person that he specifically can make, give me the words for.
[00:10:48] Carla: We hear that love is patient and love is kind. But this is also, love friends, that it does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not [00:11:00] dishonor others. It is not self seeking. Comparison leads us to envy, leads us to boasting. It leads us to pride. It leads us to dishonoring others in our thoughts.
[00:11:13] Carla: It leads us to be self seeking and gaining. Prominence and influence and accolades from who others when really the only person's approval we should be seeking is God's is God's comparison is a thief of joy. Comparison blocks our ability to love. And what does God say is the most important thing to love him and love others.
[00:11:43] Carla: Man, if something is getting in the way of our love, that's something we need to pay attention to and correct. You are uniquely gifted for the season that God has placed [00:12:00] you in. You are uniquely gifted to the calling God has put on your life. And maybe you feel like your calling is mundane. Maybe your calling is just to raise your babies.
[00:12:13] Carla: And you feel like that's not exciting. That's not influential. That doesn't seem to be doing God's work. That is God's work. Raising the next generation is God's work. Maybe you long for a bigger platform. God's not going to give you a bigger platform to be faithful in. If you can't be faithful in the small platform he's given you,
[00:12:40] Carla: right? We have to be faithful in the little. before we can be given much. Our hearts need to be pruned before they can be expanded. God's [00:13:00] pruning me right now. God's pruning me. And maybe he needs to prune you too. And of course that isn't fun. Pruning is a cutting off of some stuff. Cutting. It hurts when the Holy Spirit was convicting me of my comparison this week, it kind of hurt it stung seeing the sin in our lives doesn't feel good, but it's necessary for us to acknowledge where we're being envious where we're being prideful in order for the Holy Spirit to do the work of digging it out in us.
[00:13:43] Carla: We have to be willing to surrender. To God's plan. We have to be willing to embrace the calling. He's given us big or small. We have to be joyful and praise and worship the [00:14:00] gifting he has given us. And that gifting may be a talent that gifting may be an experience he wants to use in your life. That gifting may be a position,
[00:14:15] Carla: but wherever you are placed right now with how God's designed you, you have a calling. Are you missing out on it because you're too busy looking at someone else's calling? Are you missing out on the impact you could have because you're too busy looking at someone else's impact? Are you missing out on love and joy?
[00:14:43] Carla: Because you're stuck in envy and pride.
[00:14:48] Carla: Oh, that stings me a little. And I hate admitting that I was stuck there the last few days, but it's the truth [00:15:00] and I'm going to share all the parts of me, including the messy, including where I stumble. Because friend, you need to know you're not alone. Sin will tell you that you're alone in your sin and want you to hide it to create shame and separate you from God.
[00:15:17] Carla: I'm here to tell you, you're not alone. What you struggle with comparison and pride and envy is something we all struggle with at some point. So let's address it. Let's break its bondage. Let's get super focused on where God wants us to be and keep our eyes vertical instead of horizontal. Let's surrender to his will.
[00:15:44] Carla: Let's glorify his name instead of looking to seek the glorification of our own name.
[00:15:53] Carla: Let's be humble. Let's say, Lord, wherever you lead me, I will [00:16:00] follow. Lord, wherever you call me, I will go. Lord, whatever small amount of talent and gifting you've given me, I am going to be a good steward of that. And resource that to its fullest to make kingdom impact. Lord, forgive us when we get our eyes off you and we start counting other people's blessings, forgive us, Lord God, when we try to make ourselves feel better through pride,
[00:16:41] Carla: Lord, let us focus on our unique calling.
[00:16:49] Carla: Friend, this is resonating with you. Do you kind of feel a little bit of the sting of conviction than I did this week?[00:17:00]
[00:17:00] Carla: There's hope. There's hope as we acknowledge that we get stuck in comparison in our Christian hood, womanhood, motherhood, relationship, finances, whatever. As we repent of that and admit to that and surrender it to God, he is faithful. He is faithful. As we commit to changing our focus, as we commit to glorifying God with our lives.
[00:17:30] Carla: He is faithful. And your affirming truth for today is I am uniquely gifted to where God plants me. My calling is my own and cannot be compared to others. And we see this in Romans 12, 6. We have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us. And then it lists out. If it's prophecy, then prophesy.
[00:17:56] Carla: If it's serving, then serve. If it's teaching, then teach. [00:18:00] Whatever your gifting is, go about the business. of acting out your gifting. Go about the business of glorifying God with your gifting. Go about the business of making impact for the kingdom with your gifting. Be so busy with your own gifting. That you don't have time to acknowledge other people's unless it's to encourage them to keep going and growing in their own gift.
[00:18:34] Carla: Friend, keep your eyes on your calling and go make that kingdom impact this week. Okay. I'll see you next time.
[00:18:51] Carla: Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media. But if we're not, come find me on Instagram at Carla [00:19:00] Arges or at Affirming Truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye friends!